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Tired

I do not know if it is because of midterms and I have one more assignment to go or because of yesterday evening when my mom got all mad. I get scared because this is the second time within a two month period where my mind goes to dark thoughts; but what is weird that both times, I snapped out of it when I watched "depressing" stuff. ...
What the f***! I am seriously not knowing WHO and WHAT to believe at times with my f***** father's side of the family. Ever since my grandpa passed in April, it has been NONSTOP court battles with my dad, who brings in my lovely brother and his second eldest sister and her husband, and his eldest sister and her daughter and husband. I...

Been attending classes

Grr. Something my therapist tells me to do b/c with the anxiety, I would either leave early or not go at all. As weird as it sounds too, I think I got anxiety too b/c I kept thinking what if I just went to class, etc. Anyway, trying not to get my hopes high or be negative either. But, jeez all of this worrying, stress and fears of the future...

Just chat

So just want to chat about the past few days. Been going to school; therapist weekly. Writing as much as possible. Just tired of feeling like crap/ashamed/guilty/mad/sad over these events that have occured for quite some time. I just need to learn that I did not have control over a lot of situations. They know what they did; reason why...
 

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