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Walls Up

Posted by writer2010 , 11 October 2013 · 48 views

When it comes to hanging out, I have some degree of fear. Worried if I will have panic attacks in public; triggers of past and even coming out about it to others. Friends or soon to be friends.

I worry a lot when it comes to having guys as friends not that I have ever had any except one who I met my first semester of college.. He actually liked me but...


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Home warming party

Posted by writer2010 , 10 October 2013 · 42 views

So next Saturday my mom is having the home warming party. Kind of dreading it but not as much since that same day, I will be on campus for a school play that I have to watch. The reason why I do not want to, well two, is because that so called brother of mine will be there. At least I am pretty sure since he has never missed out a gathering. Then the...


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Ugh :(

Posted by writer2010 , 10 October 2013 · 43 views

I hate getting these heavy periods. Feel all out of it and just want to sleep but supposed to clean the house a bit since company is coming over.


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First time in a while

Posted by writer2010 , 09 October 2013 · 50 views

Of feeling somewhat calm. Like no high anxiety or stress. It's kind of nice to get moments like this :)

Also had that calm experience for some reason at dentist while they gave me a filling on gum. Weird but felt my body just relaxing, not letting the worries trouble me at that exact moment.

Just need to focus on allowing myself that permission to f...


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Healing

Posted by writer2010 , 08 October 2013 · 41 views

Had to literally say aloud that there was no shame in crying over this stuff. Felt alone and just frustrated last night. Wish I was able to just go up to my mom and say that her son sexually abused me . But I back away and get so frustrated since she even barely sticks up for or even listens when it comes to her ex-husband and his drinking. She never was...


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Healing

Posted by writer2010 , 08 October 2013 · 38 views

Had to literally say aloud that there was no shame in crying over this stuff. Felt alone and just frustrated last night. Wish I was able to just go up to my mom and say that her son sexually abused me . But I back away and get so frustrated since she even barely sticks up for or even listens when it comes to her ex-husband and his drinking. She never was...


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Healing

Posted by writer2010 , 08 October 2013 · 50 views

Had to literally say aloud that there was no shame in crying over this stuff. Felt alone and just frustrated last night. Wish I was able to just go up to my mom and say that her son sexually abused me . But I back away and get so frustrated since she even barely sticks up for or even listens when it comes to her ex-husband and his drinking. She never was...


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Healing

Posted by writer2010 , 08 October 2013 · 51 views

Had to literally say aloud that there was no shame in crying over this stuff. Felt alone and just frustrated last night. Wish I was able to just go up to my mom and say that her son sexually abused me . But I back away and get so frustrated since she even barely sticks up for or even listens when it comes to her ex-husband and his drinking. She never was...


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That Interview

Posted by writer2010 , 07 October 2013 · 74 views

It was kind of scary to come across that Chris Brown interview where he said he lost his virginity at eight years old . I don't know if I'm always comparing everything to my own life since T told me that I seem to compare myself to others like my dad. So, I feel like whenever I hear stories such as the Chris Brown interview or even the one on De...


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Meh

Posted by writer2010 , 06 October 2013 · 70 views

Been feeling a bit bummed since yesterday. Was so tired and didn't go out but when I texted friend that I wasn't able to hang out all she wrote back was "okay."

As mean as this sounds, I feel like I have more acquaintances than actual friends. To be honest, I don't know what a true friend is because never really had them.


At las...






October 2013

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