feeling pretty cleansed
ive had a wonderful relaxing evening with candles, music and half a glass of red wine... dont dare have mroe with stomach cramps i seem to be getting. ive had a pamper and made my self feel womanly again
its those small thing that have made me feel okay with the same situation i was in yesterday
its realising that sometimes its just those small steps that make you feel okay again
dont get me wrong i know im going to have to face the hurdles which are in my way but just with tidying the house and taking a few hours for myself has made all the difference, i feel ready to face this now.
something else i have realised that now that i have got some of the people out of my life who caused stress im starting to get stressed about real things, like applying for uni again and finding myself a bit of work and choosing where i want to live, --- those difficult choices were still there but because there were people who were taking up my stress they had been pushed to the bacl and now i can focus on them again.
perhaps stress is the wrong word but its this anxiety for the future that i know i will achieve. i think its jut scary the prospect that the choices im going to have to make are going to effect me for the next few years.
new start for not any one but me. now that feels good to say.... no running away from problems just me myself and MY future