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I'm constantly reminded of him and what happened triggered by my home town. I feel like a victim in this town and I'm not ! I hate how people know and that I'll never be anything more to them then the girl kevin raped.
I'm fed up with my family treating my like an idiot. Running round behind my back. Finding out what I've been up too. Its not concern its being nosey and not liking me going out doing things which make me feel better. The random trip to tesco at 2 in the morning with friends. Just because we can !
I'm fed up with my mother who when she doesn't get her own way guilts me and tells me I don't love her and that I have no time for her. Telling me that she is a bit low and that I should be supporting her. The person who when I asked for help and got taken to the hospital asked them to section me becauase that would be better FOR HER than taking me home. The person who constantly reminds me that I'm still suffering from ptsd and that I should be getting "over it" by now.
Is it really wrong to want my mother out my life. I'd be pretty happy if she were out my life completely. She ruined my 21st. I can't say anything without her taking it as an attack. If I'm my normal bubbly self she says its a side effect from the medication and I'm doing "her head in". (Even though I've nearly been completely weaned off them now )
I don't see the benefit of being in each others lives. Maybe the occational phone call and yearly visit we had before will be better.
I can't wait to move .... A new home. A new uni. A new start. New people. New job. New opportunities. New town to explore.... The REAL me :)/>