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glitter pens and iceing sugar

Posted by survadvo , 20 July 2012 · 49 views

my mum decided to arrange a deadline with my boss for giving back my uniforms, well actually i dont have the motivation or the strength to face that right now... my mums answer... ask your friend to do it... well im afraid it doesnt work like that i cant have my friends running around after me. they are my responsibilities and i will get around to them when i am strong enough too.

i now have loads of anxiety where i know i have tog et it done and im feeling crappy about it. I really need to have this chat with my mum as i know my pace and she does not determine it.

i am doing well,

  • i still find the strength to talk to people i love and laugh with them,
  • i still look after the children when i can
  • i go to all my doctor and T appointments,
  • sometimes i even go out with friends
  • i go to town to do errands when i need too.

right now i am learning how to live daily life again

my first step was to learn how too look after myself

  • i kept the house clean
  • i did my washing
  • i unpacked my home
  • i decorated and put pictures up so i felt safe
  • i kept myself clean

i feel like im now on the second step doing all the things i have listed.

at some point il be able to handle more but right now i need to master this step.

im having days where i dont want to be around people but i am pushing myself too
im having days where i could nap all day but i am persuading myself to get up
im having days where i havent slept for the whole night before but im a kind of routine
im having days where i couldnt care less but i still get up and washed and do the housework
im having days where i feel overwhelmed..... i havent mastered those days yet but i will and when i have il be able to cope with working, studying at uni, hobbies and voluntary work. until then im going to keep learning about myself.

i have done alot of baking in the last few weeks and i have started my healing project to bring out my creativity. im finding this so therapeutic. i feel like a child again but its great ! glitter pens and iceing sugar. what more can i ask for !

August 2015


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