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i feel like my life is on hold ! grrrr i wish i didnt feel like this i wish i could just put it back in that box back on that shelf and let it sit there like i did for nearly 6 years. i know that isnt healthy but erruggghh sometimes i think it was easier.
i was going to try and go back to work in a couple weeks time but now with another court date im not going to risk it, il def get the sack if i go back after being off to then go off sick again.... im seeing it as a positive thing (kind of) at least im recognising what i can handle, this way i prevent myself from getting too ill.
hopefully il get back to uni at some point but hey lets not go into that one atm.
this whole not being able to sleep properly is getting me down, really down... i dread night times, they are very lonely and im very aware that im not sleeping and get more anxiety... im thinking (convincing myself) that its where i had my medication changed 5 days ago to a different antidepressant ... its just the side effects (repeats multiple times to self)
3 weeks to go