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dont know

20 November 2012
Posted by survadvo  
ive deleted this line so many times

but

mark, i used to love you so much, i have songs that have lyrics to perfectly describe how i feel, christina perri...., i cheated on you because kevin raped me, because of that i need more reassurance, im more insecure than i were before, im irrational at times, i need more love. i miss you like mad, but...
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dont feel that i .... errrm

20 November 2012
Posted by survadvo  
i dunno just font feel that i belong.

feel that i cant say how i really feel here any more

dont feel that im helping here anymore

dont see any point - just gotta get over it

people might know who i am

i sound like im paranoid but ive had reason too lately. police telling me they will gain access to MY pandys, no one else might i add just...
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feeling pretty cleansed

12 November 2012
Posted by survadvo  
okay so im feeling pretty crap still in my head... my body is def telling me im stressed with the chronic stomach cramps but for some reason even though the prospect of life is pretty scary right now there is this inner part of me that feels okay.

ive had a wonderful relaxing evening with candles, music and half a glass of red wine... dont dare...
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fed up

10 November 2012
Posted by survadvo  
Well there is this part of me that feels like I've been through so much this last year that I think my limit of crap that I can deal with has been exceeded. Before I might have been more understanding but now I just tell people I've had enough of to "get lost" as I haven't got the patience .....

....but as I wrote that last...
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Posted by survadvo  
okay so i dont have an income, no benfits. no job. no personal savings

just the money i got from the criminal injuries compensation authority

so in a way ... money my abuser earnt for me by abuseing me. im okay with that in a way as i know deep down its compensation for what he did to me

but every time i buy something .... kevin brought that...
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