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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

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Guest Message © 2013 DevFuse

 
Posted by survadvo  
thats how my head feels today, reminds me of that children film which ever one it is ...Nemo ?

had a chat with another survivor today about how you can use lines from films to describe our lives ...

look on the bright side of life .... life of brian
...somewhere over the rainbow... wizard of oz

but right now its just keep swimming ...

i...
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Posted by survadvo  
Mum - " dont you dare destroy my family"

Aunt - "i never saw anything so it didnt happen, i was in the house and you didnt call out"

Aunt*2 - "il wait and see what happens with court before asking *cousin* if he touched her"

ex bf - " you caused it yourself for keep going back into that situation"

friend...
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Posted by survadvo  
scenarios (mostly internal messages i send my self)

- i wont be ever allowed to see my cousins again
- id be better off not around
- im never going to amount to anything
- ive failed the people i should be caring most about
- im going to loose my job before i find another one

Safety nets

- if they do stop me from seeing my...
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really hating.... "me"

10 July 2012
Posted by survadvo  
i really am hating myself today

im trying to be positive but i cant ...

i just want to get into bed and stay there, i havent felt this down for ages ...

im trying to keep busy, ive done alot of housework, i feel kind of numb

i dont know why i fell like this today ... nothing has changed

i just feel like im the scum of the earth and i...
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feeling cr*p today

09 July 2012
Posted by survadvo  
was really ill earlier, had such bad pain in my lower abdomen, i couldn't stand i couldn't sit, threw up due to the pain. it lasted about 20 minutes of excruciating pain. it was so bad i couldn't stay still. i was trying to tear my clothes it was that bad and sudden and strong ! now i just feel sore and the occasional shooting...
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Posted by survadvo  
fears

- failure in career
- mental health problems long term
- failure in relationships
- never having closure
- release of my perp


Attitudes

- sometimes we have to take a step backwards in order to progress forwards
- i have to be proactive with my healing to prevent relapses *its ok to take my time*
- i have been through a life...
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big decisions

05 July 2012
Posted by survadvo  
i want my life back its as simple as that, these small productive steps im taking are great but they arent going to get me where i want to be anytime time soon, i want to take leaps....

i feel that moving back to home town was a fresh start, yet im already looking for another one ?! a fresh start from a 3 month old fresh start ? - im not...
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could be worse

02 July 2012
Posted by survadvo  
i was just reflecting on my past .... dangerous game to play i know

i remembered feeling suicidal. i have been giving myself bad messages lately and i thought wow maybe i am suicidal maybe i dont want to keep living, doubting myself in general, but no, i remember that dark place and im definitely not there.

i dont want to ever be there again...
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doctors tomorrow

01 July 2012
Posted by survadvo  
ive been trying to look after myself a bit better these past few weeks and tomorrow i have a medications review, blood test and order repeat prescriptions. i hate going to the docs, i feel like im weak. like i have admit something is wrong.

it also worries me as when i applied for uni to become a student nurse i had to get my doc to write a...
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why am i so useless !

30 June 2012
Posted by survadvo  
im feeling....

worthless

antisocial

stupid

negative..ha!

unfixable

broken

unloveable

exhausted

unhappy

powerless

hurt

......ive had enough i just want things to be better, its my perception ... so why cant i perceive things differently.

i just want to be able to write in this blog or write a status etc where im happy

i feel...
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