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survadvo's Blog



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angry

Posted by survadvo , 04 September 2012 · 63 views

I need to move far far away from here as soon as possible. Its the only way I'm going to get my life back !

I'm constantly reminded of him and what happened triggered by my home town. I feel like a victim in this town and I'm not ! I hate how people know and that I'll never be anything more to them then the girl kevin raped.

I...


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hmmmmm a conversation with myself.

Posted by survadvo , 28 August 2012 · 89 views

dont really feel like blogging but guess that i should as im feeling a bit strange today

not sure whats bothering me

so hoping i can work it out by explaining to myself how im feeling

.... today i feel a bit low

- i feel sad that yesterday a friend betrayed my trust and got violent towards me and scared me when he lost his temper with me, i have d...


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self discovery

Posted by survadvo , 26 August 2012 · 60 views

i have a huge impatience when it comes to my healing

i want to be back on form and it all to be over and im fighting fit again

i tried to withdraw from pandys and stop talking to those who cared for me in an attempt to kid myself everything is okay again. i stopped using trigger coping techniques with the idea that i didnt need them any more. im now r...


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"oops in hospital x" TRIGGER WARNING SU FLASHBACKS

Posted by survadvo , 21 August 2012 · 67 views

no not in hospital now, the text i sent my other half sunday morning at half past 7.

i had got angry, i had drunk alcohol, i am on sertraline... i had gone for a walk, my ex came to look for me... it were 3 in the morning... i was listening to music and it made me worse but i couldnt stop listening, i ended up sitting on the top of somewhere high, look...


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sentencing was yesterday

Posted by survadvo , 14 August 2012 · 65 views

yesterday was the day i found out how long my perp ... Kevin Foster will be in prison for

13 years with life on the sex offenders register

he may be out in half but he got the most the could have possibly have given him... he will never be allowed to work with children or be around children without being supervised. my cousins are safe !

there...


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giving it one last shot ...

Posted by survadvo , 30 July 2012 · 43 views

was hoping to get the validation about the relationship that i needed .... hmmmmm

me can i change the subject, ive got something that is bugging me that i wanted to say
itll change the mood thou haha

him yep
why not

me its like this... i knowi go on about it but i have triggers and all that... and im thinking that you dont realise that something...


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my t homework

Posted by survadvo , 27 July 2012 · 49 views

things i like about me

my baking skills ! ... i make awesome cookies and lemon drizzle cake
my nails, they are able to grow pretty and long now
my courage to stand up to Kevin
my strength - to get through legal proceedings and try to heal from it
my ambitions - i know i want to go to uni and get back into work, i also know i want to get out...


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feeling confused about relationships

Posted by survadvo , 27 July 2012 · 39 views

im letting my ex back into my life but im really confused

i have spoken to him about things, things that worry me, how my life is right now ... but i just dont trust him right now .... i dont trust that he isnt seeing anyone else. i dont trust him that he isnt just going to use me. i dont trust him that he isnt just doing this purposely to hurt me ... i...


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glitter pens and iceing sugar

Posted by survadvo , 20 July 2012 · 49 views

my mum decided to arrange a deadline with my boss for giving back my uniforms, well actually i dont have the motivation or the strength to face that right now... my mums answer... ask your friend to do it... well im afraid it doesnt work like that i cant have my friends running around after me. they are my responsibilities and i will get around to them w...


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a good day

Posted by survadvo , 18 July 2012 · 45 views

im having a good day today come to terms with alot of the issues ive been having during T today... its going to take a while for it all to sink in but im starting to feel like im making real progress which is funny as i SI for the first time in 3 years the other night ...

ive forgiven my SI, i did it thinking it would make me feel better, it didnt... i...






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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.