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Bitchy mood

Posted by tpatt2008 , 07 November 2012 · 48 views

My boyfriend's best friend triggers me. I've been depressed all week and today he comes over. I loathe this guy. He never hurt me, but he reminds me of everything that's wrong in this world. He reminds me of every man I used to throw myself in front of, just for a little bit of attention, a little bit of love. I'm disgusted. I've been in a real bitchy way all day. I'm just fucking pissed. The guy that I want is just like him. The guy who hurt me. The men who hurt me. I hate it. I'm so confused, so frustrated with myself. How can I desire the man who hurt me? How can I want nothing more than to run to him???

I'm just gonna drink. I need to feel something else. I've been crying all week.
It's my fault. I talked to them. I talked to three of my abusers. That's my fault. Now I want them. It's so fucking fucked up.

July 2016

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