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Mountain out of a Molehill?



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Almost Doesn't Count

Posted by tpatt2008 , 11 May 2013 · 27 views

It's nearing my one year anniversary of my last rape, and also the one year anniversary with Pandy's.

I'm doing alright. That's the best I can put it.

I really wish I had someone to talk to, but I've had to withdraw from almost everyone I know.

I'm desperate. I feel so bound up.

Here's to a breath through.

It's almos...


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Free Will

Posted by tpatt2008 , 09 November 2012 · 46 views

The right to choose is very important.
Choice.
We live in a world of options, of opportunities.
Have it your way, the world says. Are you pro-choice, the government asks. Choose ye this day whom you will serve, warns the preacher.
Our very existence is built on the idea that we get to decide things.
Blue or black, stripes or polka dots, long or sh...


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Bitchy mood

Posted by tpatt2008 , 07 November 2012 · 45 views

My boyfriend's best friend triggers me. I've been depressed all week and today he comes over. I loathe this guy. He never hurt me, but he reminds me of everything that's wrong in this world. He reminds me of every man I used to throw myself in front of, just for a little bit of attention, a little bit of love. I'm disgusted. I've...


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I could use some advice

Posted by tpatt2008 , 06 November 2012 · 65 views

Trigger warning: I need help today. I literally spent all morning talking to three of my abusers (not all at once, but one after the other). I was on an adrenaline rush, saying things that have been bottled up for awhile. There's still so much to say. One of my abusers, my first boyfriend, is older than me. He was like my brother. He was abused...


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4 Months Later

Posted by tpatt2008 , 27 October 2012 · 22 views

I haven't written in awhile.
I've been avoiding it and I'm not sure why.
The last few months have been...well, I think you'll understand when I saw it's been up and down and up again.
I am currently down.
I can't figure out if it's because I'm PMSing, or because the last time I made love to my boyfriend I was drunk and I do...


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4 Months Later

Posted by tpatt2008 , 27 October 2012 · 15 views

I haven't written in awhile.
I've been avoiding it and I'm not sure why.
The last few months have been...well, I think you'll understand when I saw it's been up and down and up again.
I am currently down.
I can't figure out if it's because I'm PMSing, or because the last time I made love to my boyfriend I was drunk and I do...


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Live for this moment right here

Posted by tpatt2008 , 28 June 2012 · 34 views

Today is the kind of day I now live for.
Nothing all that special has happened, but I feel good. I feel like I'm doing something right. I'm getting stuff done. I'm not heavy or emotional. I got out of bed this morning and didn't feel like I was shackled to the covers. I'm happy to talk to people. Not sulking alone, or desperate f...


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The Countdown Continues

Posted by tpatt2008 , 20 June 2012 · 15 views

Week 4 is rapidly approaching...

It seems like I'm always counting down the days until something happens or counting the days since something happened.

My bf and I broke up today. Most of me wanted to. We broke up for a lot of reasons. I still love him, and I probably always will. Maybe we'll be together again, when he comes back from war....


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Week 3

Posted by tpatt2008 , 15 June 2012 · 16 views

I was doing so well over the past two weeks, but today I fell apart. Now I'm back to trying to find enough energy just to eat. I was going to work, hanging out with co workers, doing homework, meeting people...now I'm alone, crying, trying to make shrimp alfredo.

Co workers keep texting me. I like that they care. I think it's making me fe...


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Nothing about this is fair

Posted by tpatt2008 , 15 June 2012 · 18 views

I quit my job today.

Well, I would've just said I was sick, but that's not allowed. So I quit.

I was gonna write a long drawn out explanation but this is it in a nutshell:

I'm tired. I'm not suicidal. Just tired. Jobs require too much work, too much pressure. So I always quit. I'm kind of enjoying the attention from it. I'...






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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.