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Therapy has been very hard but very healing, like cleaning out an old wound and doing it with the right medicine this time. Its painful and tedious but its working.
Where am i going? I expect more of myself - I expect to just "get over it" "it was no big deal" but i know that i'm hurting deep inside.
None of us deserved being abused, hurt, tortured, raped, or hit. EVEN IF we asked for it - we didnt deserve it. We only asked for it becuase someoene before that person hurt us in such a way that we believe we deseve it.
Where am I going?
I am humbled by the people who have responded to my invite to my retirement - i am in shock.. a former retired general is coming (he was a former boss).. I am so happy he's coming!
My therapist is coming to my ceremony, my kids, my hubby, my best friend, about 40 close friends and then our base staff - expecting 100 or so people.
saw my counselor yesterday and she pushed me very hard.. and i am glad. she is so amazing....she stayed right with me, she helped me through it... im so grateful that i have her ...
I can do this. We can all do this...
Where am I going? I may not know.. but at least we can keep striving towards happiness...