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Boyfriend feels constricted

Posted by MS7355 , 18 July 2012 · 13 views

My boyfriend and I just moved into our own place about 2 weeks ago. He had mentioned before the move that he was feeling a bit confined and was "acting out" but assured me that he did want to live together. I have been going through the healing process for about a year now and I would say that Im doing better than I have for a long time. The only thing I still really struggle with is going out or having people in my house so I tend to not leave the house other than to shop or go to work. I am a very outgoing and kind person but interacting with other people gets overwhelming. My boyfriend is 31 and lives a party lifestyle and he has pretty much stopped going out as well. He will still have people over to hang out but he doesnt go out to the bars.

I have problems trusting not only him but everyone else in my life and when my boyfriend mentions going out without me, all I can picture is him getting drunk and cheating on me. He hasn't given me reasons to believe that he will but I am terrified that everyone I know and love is going to hurt me and the way he can really hurt me is by cheating on me. This results in me getting upset every time he tells me that he might go out and meet up with some friends. I know that it is healthy to have a life outside of each other as well but im set off by the life that he wants to have outside of me is a life of partying.

So when my boyfriend told me again after a week of living together that he is feeling constricted again, it basically set off a panic reaction and now all I do is sit around and obsess about it. It is setting off a bunch of red flags for me. I spoke to my therapist about it and he said that this is pretty typical emotions but I am going to need to be patient to see if he can be the man that I need. I dont know if I should give him more space or what. If anyone has any suggestions I am open to it.

October 2014

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