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I have discovered something beautiful. After waking up every day with anxiety and going to bed with anxiety for almost 2 years now I have a realization that I hope I will hold on to forever. It all started when I was shopping for another therapist and I went to see this woman. I don't remember much from the session other than 5 magical words she said to me, "Find Where Anxiety Can't Live." Those 5 words collided into my memory like a brick wall and have not left me.
I started realizing what I was doing subconsciously to counter my anxiety attacks. I had literally already done this without knowing. If I felt anxious in the evenings, I would take a bath. If I felt anxious around a group of people (this happened frequently because after my divorce I had to move into a house with 4 other friends, one included my boyfriend), I would go into my room and put my headphones on or watch a movie of my choice. If I chose to listen to music at this time, it typically involved ridiculous dancing, crying and lip syncing. If I watch a movie, I dive into women-empowerment movies like Under the Tuscan Sun, Live, Laugh, Love and/or Fried Green Tomatoes. If the day was feeling overwhelming, I would take a nap.
Its amazing how I was the person being my own best friend even though the majority of the time I am my own worst enemy. I didn't care if people thought I was being rude or weird because I was doing these things for me. I could either feel guilty about how I was making other people feel or I could take care of myself without guilt by watching Fried Green Tomatoes for the 100th time. I choose without.
I started realizing what I was doing subconsciously to counter my anxiety attacks. I had literally already done this without knowing. If I felt anxious in the evenings, I would take a bath. If I felt anxious around a group of people (this happened frequently because after my divorce I had to move into a house with 4 other friends, one included my boyfriend), I would go into my room and put my headphones on or watch a movie of my choice. If I chose to listen to music at this time, it typically involved ridiculous dancing, crying and lip syncing. If I watch a movie, I dive into women-empowerment movies like Under the Tuscan Sun, Live, Laugh, Love and/or Fried Green Tomatoes. If the day was feeling overwhelming, I would take a nap.
Its amazing how I was the person being my own best friend even though the majority of the time I am my own worst enemy. I didn't care if people thought I was being rude or weird because I was doing these things for me. I could either feel guilty about how I was making other people feel or I could take care of myself without guilt by watching Fried Green Tomatoes for the 100th time. I choose without.
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