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Wanting people to know, but not daring to tell

Posted by Tillit , 08 November 2013 · 126 views

So I'm currently going to a folk college, and although I've had a great semester so far, no one here knows about what I've been through and I actually find that I would like them to know, because I feel a feeling of security when people around me know, in part because it also helps me connect to other survivors. Problem is that I don't dare simply tell them, and we're already nearly a semester into the year, so I'm starting to wonder if there's even any use. It's just that during my college period people just sort of understood I was traumatized by the way I reacted to triggers, which was uncomfortable at first, but then actually was a kind of comfort because I had their sympathy to lean on, if you know what I mean.
Another problem is that there's a girl in my class that I simply don't trust, because she's an expert at gossipping and doesn't share my ideas of what you should keep to yourself and what you should spread; and she has a tendency to blurt out the things even she realises she should keep to herself. So I'm thinking I want to tell the class except her, because I don't trust that she will keep it to herself no matter how perfectly clear I make it that she's not allowed to tell anyone.
I'm thinking the best approach is to take it slowly, and for example first tell them that I've been traumatized or something. I've already posted a post at my school's FB page that made it clear to everyone that I have strong feelings regarding SA, so that's a beginning, at least. We'll see how it goes. It's just that sometimes I wish I could just wave a wand and magic the knowledge of what happened into peoples' heads so I wouldn't have to tell them, you know Posted Image ?

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