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My laptop is my worst enemy

Posted by Tillit , 06 August 2012 · 163 views

I've come to realization. It's been there for a long time, but it's only latelly that I've made the decision to really "catch" it and act upon it.

My laptop is my worst enemy.
That, and my bed.

I'm working on my social anxiety and depression. I often have to "work up the guts" to leave my room, and do things like get the mail or go to the store. My life is sometimes... complicated, to put it that way. I don't want to be a recluse. I don't want to be lazy, or inactive.

It's just that whenever I'm sitting at my laptop or lying in my bed... all is well. I'm safe. I'm comfortable and snug. There's no way I can embarrass myself, or get hurt, or get looks from people that are probably harmless, but which I interpret to be hostile. I can surf the Web, or cuddle up and pull the blankets over my head and dream up whatever fantasy life I desire. Problem is, I'm way too good at getting stuck at my laptop or in my bed. I can stay at my laptop for hours, wasting time surfing the web and playing games until I'm bored sick. I can remain in bed for hours and hours after waking up in the morning.

My bed and laptop are my drugs, and I'm abusing them like crazy.

Part of what made me make this realization was having my laptop out of order for some time, or leaving it in Sogndal when visiting my hometown, and shocking myself with how much I got done, how active I became, when I didn't have a computer to sit down and waste time with.

Problem is, I don't quite know how to fight these "addictions". I'll get up, decide to get stuff done, and still end up at my laptop and tell myself I'll just sit there for five minutes and then get working -- and then I'll sit there the whole day. It's automatic.

So when I return home and school starts again, I'll try an "out of sight, out of mind" approach and unplug the laptop and put it in a closet or something. I hope it'll help. 'Cause seriously, you have no idea how much time I can waste on the thing.



I'm enjoying your blog! I feel like I know you.
I'm trying the "outta site, outta mind" with my smart phone.
It's been working...
But tonight, I'm going head deep into my laptop.
Maybe I'll get up soon and play guitar... or at least make dinner.
Thank you :)

Ya, out of sight out of mind can work wonders, I think. Have to get better at it with both coffee and my laptop :) . I know it'll turn my life upside down, and I'm looking forward to it :D !

Just recently I started to take sleeping pills, though, and I found that they're powerful enough to beat coffee any night :) . I sleep like a baby and wake up early and it's such a wonderful experience.

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