"An everyday story that never gets told"
http://ninaburrowes....urage-to-be-me/ (free e-book)
Having just finished this amazing little book, I figured I might as well make a blog post recommending it to all of you fantastic, wonderful people here. "The courage to be me" is a pretty short read, and not...
The hospital was a number of units of various kinds surrounding a large grass field. My first unit, with the rooms built around an open room with sofas and a TV room, was a "s...
So I grew up in a small v...
It started when I realized I should probably start getting out of the house rather than just sit inside with my laptop all day. Then I advanced that to making myself get out of the house and do something at least once ev...
This got me thinking... does anyone else have those little "survivor moments" that aren't depressing or anything, but just things you just have to smile or laugh at? Not neccessarily as in "dark humour" funny, but...
Basically, what you do is take an empty jar and put it somewhere visible, such as on a shelf or your desk. This jar is your "gratitude jar". Every time someone does something for you, or something happens for which you're grateful, you write it down on a note, perhaps wi...
...but I've got very mixed feelings. You know all those people who say they are not looking forward to Yule...
So this semester has been a roller coaster ride like no other. This was supposed to be the semester where everything got better. I managed to disclose, in detail, what happened to my to my T last semester, and that lifted a huge weight off my shoulders, and I was so ready to move on with my life.
Then comes a depression out of nowhere. Really, out of nowhere. It hits me hard right in the gut and everything goes to the hot place in a hand basket. Okay, not completely out of nowhere -- my T says I'm predisposed (if that's a word) for depression due to my life situation and past and frankly I don't blame my brain from overloading from everything that's happened in my life, but either way I'm almost completely absent from lectures, don't read curriculum, and don't work on assignments. Oh, and I don't take care of myself, eat, or keep my room tidy and clean. I'm a mess for the better part of the semester. We've got three weeks left of lectures and here I am feeling the year has only just started. Holy ****.
I'm at a crux now, though. A tipping point. Call it whatever you want. Either way, I've got an assignment due that I think everyone else have turned in but me, because I've just put it off continually since it was given to me. Tomorrow/today (it's 2:58am here) I'm going to turn it in. I've got no feedback on it so far, unlike everyone else who turned it in for review, and if I don't pass, I don't get to take the semester exams. If I don't get to take the exams, I have to redo the entire year. Them's the grapes.
So I'm turning in an 10 page assignment, half of which I've composed practically overnight, I think it's good enough, but I'm not an experienced enough college student to know, and sooo much depends on this passing. I don't know if I really mind having to redo a year, gods only know that I've done that before (long story, may tell it later), but I feel I'm soo incredibly lucky to have the classmates I have, and I really don't want to "lose" them and have to step into another class full of strangers who may not be nearly as friendly and outgoing and colourful as my wonderful current class.
So.... wish me luck, all. I think I need it.
At least it's finally coming together. Last minute panic hit yesterday and I got cracking, and now I've been up all night putting it together. FINALLY I feel it's about 98-99% finished. Finally I know I've got something to turn in tomorrow.
Fih- nah- lly.
I'm a Norwegian. We live in one of the most successful countries in the history of mankind. We have social services, free colleges and universities,. a high life expectancy and a country that has enjoyed 70 years straight of peace -- interrupted only by the terrible events of last year's summer. But not all of us feel safe. Not all of us can relax fully and enjoy life. We can't let our guard down and forget for too long at a time. We're constantly reminded.
I lie down on my side to rest for a minute and feel my defense spray in my pocket. Got it in the mail today, and now it reminds me every time I accidentally nudge it. I wonder for how long I'll keep carrying it, if I'll ever get used to it. I hear sounds in the night and freeze because my brain still turns innocent sounds into screams. Somebody touches me innocously and I still go into self-defense mode, 'cause
it reminds me:
I'm not just a student, a civilian, another innocouos youth going on with his daily life. I'm a warrior, and I am under threat. As are all of us.
We feel lucky not to have to live on Svalbard and have to take rifles with them into the wilderness, because they could be attacked by polar bears. We feel fortunate not to live in a war zone where you can't walk to school without fearing firefights, or step off the forest trail for fear of stepping on one of thosedreaded landmines.
Are we much better off, though?
Is it better to survive a traumatic sexual experience in a peaceful country than to take a stray shot in a warzone? The physical effects of the two experiences are completely different, but I have a feeling the trauma from the latter is probably less serious...
So we live our daily lives with the knowledge that we're under threat. We stay indoors at night. We buy pepper sprays and alarms and carry keychains-of-death. We teach each others all kinds of ridiculous, almost superstitious rules that we believe will help keep us safe. Because none of us are. We know that when we hang out with loved ones or walk home or go to a party, we're taking a risk that we shouldn't have to consider. Some of us stop there, feeling content not to delve deeper into the problem. They don't care about attitudes, police efficiency or harsher sentences. As is sexual abuse was something to take for granted, that we couldn't do anything a bout more than we can keep the rain from falling. But...
...it shouldn't have to be like this.
For real. It shouldn't.
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Book recommendation: the Courage to be MeChocoholic - Jul 23 2014 03:57 PM
Book recommendation: the Courage to be Mehope1975 - Jul 18 2014 11:57 AM
Book recommendation: the Courage to be MeSusanna - Jul 18 2014 01:22 AM
So let's see, what have I accomplished in life?Tillit - Jun 14 2014 05:02 AM
So let's see, what have I accomplished in life?Tillit - Jun 12 2014 09:22 PM