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Posted by YourGhost , 12 April 2012 · 28 views

I never really focused on my dreams before. I guess I didn't really had a reason too until this summer. Originally, I thought dreams were a series of nonsensical images. Sometimes my dreams represented my daily routines that I performed through out the day. Others consisted of doing something really fun or outrageous that I would never do in real life. I even remember dreaming about guys I used to like and how, for one moment, I had the courage to confront them.

Now, my dreams are a "wake up call" from my subconcious. When I'm not paying attention to my emotions- I get a rude awakening in my dreams.

I used to have vivid nightmares after I was assaulted. Usually, it wasn't even revolving around the fact that I was assaulted. I had dreams that I was still roaming the city where I was attacked. It's was difficult because whenever I woke up, I had to remind myself I wasn't there anymore. For the longest time, it felt like half of me was still there- trying to figure things out. I felt really emotionally disconnected for the longest time.

Now that I've gone through therapy and confronted my feelings, I don't have those kind of dreams anymore. Now, I have dreams about my sister who is traveling around the world at the moment. Whenever I'm stressed, she pops up. We had a "falling out" after I was attacked because she couldn't provide the support I needed. So, it's sort of distressing to see her there. Always has been.

I guess what I'm really frustrated about is link between my stress and my dream patterns. Whenever I'm stressed, these dreams keep popping up and it's emotionally overwhelming. I try to tell myself that they aren't real...but it can be disturbing at times.

Well, it will take time. I remind myself that I've made a lot of progress in the past couple of months.

No point in beating myself up now.

July 2014

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