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My New Reality [Poem]

Posted by faithNhope , 05 May 2012 · 16 views

My New Reality

My New Reality
of fear, anxiety, anger and feeling abandoned
Long nights of TV, computer, music, and reading
Anything that can influence the descend onto my eyelids
Hoping that maybe tonight I can sleep
Disappointments of nightmares, terror, hearing a noise or a car pass by
My New Reality

Heart racing about to burst out of my chest when deciding to go here or there
A million and one thoughts of what if this or what if that
Begin to appear
Whether it is the grocery store or even going out for dinner
Every move I make
I have to weigh the "is there going to be too many people factor"
Or "Could there be any chance that HE could be there?"
Never would I think that my days would be consumed of this thought
My New Reality

Standing in the shower
The only feeling of comfort for me
Wishing that God would just let me take that day back
Not wanting to get out
Only place to be alone
Leaving knowing now I have to face the world again
My New Reality

Having freedom
Having independence
Having a LIFE
To no more job, no more school, no more apartment, no more being outgoing
No privacy
Being questioned 24/7
A prisoner in my on body
or even an animal in the cage at a zoo
Feeling of being observed like some experiment
My New Reality

Good days
Bad days
Hell,even both in the same day
Anger
Tears
Memories
Anxiety
Never had so many ranges of emotions in one day
Yearning for my old life back
Knowing it can never be.......


MY NEW REALITY



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