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All alone

Posted by lmvjohnson , 04 July 2014 · 155 views

My husband is away on business and my kids are asleep. Why do I find it so hard being alone. My relationship with my husband has been rocky for four years, so why can I not revel in the freedom of some time to myself. Why does my mind take over and transport me back, to the events that changed me forever. The ones that can still bring a tear to my eye, make me shy away from people, feel introverted and alone or just feel nothing just sit and watch the movie replay over and over again. I don't want this life for myself and yet when I realise I'm going to have another episode I make it worse, I watch movies that trigger me, read books I know will tear me up inside, visit dangerous areas I should stay away from. Why, just to prove I am worthless? To prove him right all along?



:( I am sorry you struggle with being alone. I have only been married to my husband for four years, but, it has been rocky since the beginning. 

 

Sitting with you

Thanks guys, made it through the night, a few tears shed but not too bad

June 2016

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