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Compulsion

Posted by lmvjohnson , 15 October 2014 · 31 views

Sitting here wondering why compulsion is coming to the fore again, things are good better than they have been for years, but I am counting, checking -why? Starting to think its because I am having a lull in feelings. Why am I waiting, anxiously for bad things to happen? Why can't I enjoy the good while its happening? Why did my therapist have to go on sab...


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All alone

Posted by lmvjohnson , 04 July 2014 · 62 views

My husband is away on business and my kids are asleep. Why do I find it so hard being alone. My relationship with my husband has been rocky for four years, so why can I not revel in the freedom of some time to myself. Why does my mind take over and transport me back, to the events that changed me forever. The ones that can still bring a tear to my eye, ma...


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Sick and tired

Posted by lmvjohnson , 03 June 2014 · 72 views

I am so sick and tired of life. Working hard at work at home in relationships in family life for what?? I'm tired I feel like I need to lie down for at least a week, see no one see nothing, feel nothing and just relax. I've just managed to keep a panic attack at bay, when will it all end? I want to erase my memory and start afresh.


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Time heals

Posted by lmvjohnson , 28 May 2014 · 56 views

Wow how time has flown by, a year and all the pain feels so far away! My therapy has ended. I miss my T but my mind seems to have taken over and has stopped me from feeling to much.  She was my only outlet, the only person who made  me feel safe and secure, the only person that told me I was a nice person, the only person I drew confidence from....


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Sitting and staring

Posted by lmvjohnson , 11 June 2013 · 62 views

Weeks have gone by and I still feel different, things don't matter to me, my husband and I feel like room mates and nothing more. I'm sure the problems are in my head but after his betrayal I doubt I'll ever feel like I can trust him again.
My T refuses to see me without my husband, this annoys me and makes me not fully use the time properly....


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Testing out my blog!

Posted by lmvjohnson , 09 April 2013 · 72 views

I'm not sure where to write down my feelings and what is going on with me or whom I should share it with... have a T she is really nice but there are tonnes of things I don't talk to her about, so maybe I'll start here...

At the moment I feel nothing, it's really weird, I would of thought that after all the pain I've felt for so long...





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