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Into the Woods



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I'm not here to just please you

Posted by kanata , 30 August 2013 · 114 views

My brother hurt me a lot. My brother hurt me a lot. My brother hurt me a lot. My brother hurt me a lot - That is all that is going through my head these days and I'm getting angry that I just can't process it to the level my therapist wants.

He says to feel all the feelings of the events but not too much. To not do a memory at night unless I com...


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Anger

Posted by kanata , 28 March 2012 · 65 views

I figured out what the problem is. I have been waiting for my family to WAKE UP! To respect my feelings the way I respect others. That is never going to happen. They may have raised me to always put others first and consider myself a bad person if I don't but they haven't learnt the same lesson.

Screw them. It is time to put my emotions firs...


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T away

Posted by kanata , 18 March 2012 · 85 views

It is just my luck to be in the middle of a crisis due to the anniversary and have my T go away for a week. He has tried his best to help me while gone by picking two of his colleagues for me to call, and letting me call his answering machine and e-mailing him. He tried to offer more help. To go to a place where they have supervision for a week. A safe pl...


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Take-backsies...

Posted by kanata , 10 March 2012 · 85 views

A large part of me wants to erase everything I said this week to people. To rewind the days and not have told my family doctor that I had been attacked. I didn't go into details but just nodded my head when he asked. I want to take back that whole visit.

I went because I was panicking and searching for any answer I could find. Hoping that maybe ther...


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TW: PTSD

Posted by kanata , 07 March 2012 · 62 views

I could write this in my journal but I feel like I just need to get this out of here, out of my head, out of my house.

I've been choking all day and no one notices. Odd that. How I can be feeling like my veins are going to explode out my neck and that I'm sucking in air through a straw yet have "normal" conversations with people around me...


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My dog is my saviour.

Posted by kanata , 07 March 2012 · 76 views

My dog Annie saved my life. I try to explain that to people but no one gets it. They say that I love her too much and that I can't make my dog my life. But she is. She is all I live for now.

I've had her four months today. A month before I got her I was in the ICU for a suicide attempt. While in the utterly useless psych ward I had a dream. In it...





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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.