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I blame Asa for this one. If I'm to be totally honest here, I don't feel all that motivated to quit. Mostly all I think about is doing it more. Maybe I'm more motivated by not wanting to get caught! No, if I was to quit, it would be for my dear Asa. It is he (and I hate myself for admitting this) whom I confide in, it is he who always gets to see what I've done. He's the one who did the butterfly project with me & he got to kiss my SI when I showed with to him on New Year's. Asa, if you ever happen to read this, I want you to know that you are the first person I ever told who was not openly disgusted or angry. You've always accepted it as a part of me--you encourage me to not, of course, and you've made it clear that it isn't a turn-on or anything, but you've always remained steadfast in your loving patience. That, more than anything else, has been motivating for me to stop. There have been times where I'm just about it do it but the thought of your tender, disappointed look is enough to put me off, I know it hurts you too. I'm sorry baby, and I'll try harder. I love you.