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Fearless - The Power of Words

Posted by Kyrie , 09 March 2012 · 24 views

My healing journey started with one word. One word that touched me as no other single word ever has. It reached inside me and grabbed a hold of my heart, and I broke down and cried.

I was sinking into a bit of a depression again, was spending all my time ignoring reality and trying to lose myself in the in the fantastical world of fiction. School work sat abandoned half-finished on the computer but I resolutely did not think about it. Just another regular day for me.

My mom was on a website that caught my attention. She was on the Joyful Heart Foundations website because of the necklace she had noticed that Mariska Hargitay from Law and Order: SVU (Special Victims Unit) always wore. Mariska was the founder of Joyful Heart, and my mom was looking at a picture of the necklace in question.

Then I read the word carved into the metal plaque: FEARLESSNESS.
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Immediately I felt a response from deep inside me. As it sunk in deeper, as I read the word again, the swell of emotion that rose like a tidal wave in me could not be stopped. I broke down into tears. I finally had to acknowledge that yes, there was something wrong with me. I was not fine.

I had been hiding. Hiding for a long time from emotions I had been burying for far too long. One of the predominant of those was fear. A huge, overwhelming fear that I didnít fully understand. It was scary to even think about it let alone let myself feel it. Seeing that word, FEARLESSNESS, changed my life.

Before than I knew that words had power, I just didnít know how powerful one word could be all on its own.

After that it was a matter of working up the courage to call a crisis line that could set me up for counselling. It took me a couple of weeks to get to the point where I picked up the phone (and shaking like a leaf) dial the number. It was, I believe, my first big step forwards.

Since then I have taken a few more steps forward on my healing journey. Iíve started doing school work again, and I see a counsellor every couple weeks (for the most part). In between sessions I make a little progress on my own through thinking about my issues, writing in my journal, and allowing myself to feel all the things I was avoiding before.

Joining Pandys has been the next step in my journey. I want to support others who have had similar experiences and have the extra support as well. Joining was scary, but I knew I needed to do it. And I'm glad I did.




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cordeliaVorkosigan
Mar 11 2012 08:08 AM
It takes an amazing amount of strength and courage. I'm glad you feel empowered.Posted Image

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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.