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I know more than one man molested and raped me consistently as a child, but most often the image that pops up is my father's face. Obviously it's disturbing to see my father raping me when it wasn't him. Although I know it wasn't him, but I've not yet identified the culprits.
I realize now that I tried telling my grandmother and great-grandmother, but it was not taken seriously. I guess they assumed or hoped I was lying (making up stories) or that I'd simply forget in time. I'm really not sure and they are no longer alive to tell me what they were thinking at the time. I guess I've waited far too long to let all this out.
I guess I wasn't ready. For those of you with child sexual abuse history, do you remember all the details? How did you cope? Please, share. I would like to know so I don't feel so ridiculous.
Thanks for listening/reading.