I'm so envious of those who have not experienced that violation of the mind, the body...the soul. I feel each man has taken a piece of me and I'm fighting to retrieve it with some amount of dignity. And there are those...sweet, innocent, naive people who are clueless to the evil side of human nature; or perhaps they are merely blind. I envy them. I feel angry and hurt that they should go unscathed and I did not. What makes them more deserving and me less? Yet, I'm drawn to them and I feel the need to protect them. Once I'm around them, I feel dirty, wrong and uncomfortable. At times, I'm not sure how to react. I feel the urge to give advice on what not to do, but am I really helping them or am I selfishly appeasing my own needs, wishes and desires. I don't feel this way around children, only adults. What to make of it?