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Abigail's blog



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My poor baby

Posted by Dollygirl , 07 July 2013 · 83 views

What happened to me haunts me, I'm learning to live with the pain, the nightmares and the feelings of guilt and horror but what I found out today, I will never be able to live with.

My darling little cousin, is perhaps one of the most important people in my life. She is bundle of joy and laughter, and very rude comments. She's now a teenager (sc...


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Why?

Posted by Dollygirl , 24 January 2013 · 86 views

I hate the word why, because I'll never get an answer.
Why me? Why did he do it? Why does it hurt me everyday. Why can't I ignore it?
I just want help :'( I just want it to get better. I'm 18 and I don't wanna be like this forever, always crying, flinching when I hear the word...
I hope it will get better :( will it :'(


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Still running

Posted by Dollygirl , 29 December 2012 · 72 views

I want to run away forever. Being away from home, away from London seems to help. This year I went to newcastle, Manchester, Brighton, morocco, South Africa, Leicester, Wales , and everywhere else I possibly could. I've just booked to go to thailand, for 5 weeks. It's an escape. But can I run forever :( I hope I can.
I want to carry on running, f...


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Further from myself

Posted by Dollygirl , 30 September 2012 · 79 views

Recently all I do is run away. I run away from arguments, run away from feelings, and run away from London. I travelled all summer, to morocco and South Africa, to get away, to run away. This weekend, I got away to the coast. But I didn't get away from my feelings. I can't get away from them sometimes. Not only am I shutting everyone else out, but...


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Not so new guy..

Posted by Dollygirl , 24 September 2012 · 92 views

The new guy, has now been my boyfriend for months. I trust him with everything inside me, and that frightens me incredibly. He knows my secret. He didn't judge me, he held me :( I didn't feel disgusting, and shamed by his reaction, I felt sad. He's such a nice boy. Nice, so nice. I feel like he's more than I deserve, I feel like I'm no...


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New guy?

Posted by Dollygirl , 05 May 2012 · 77 views

For 17, I've probably had too many relationships with guys. Long ones, short ones, and one night stand ones. I think I wanted to feel better, to feel like a normal girl, so I jumped into things, too many things. I have many regrets.
But I've met someone new, and he's nice. He's so nice. And, I really like him, I really really do. But I...


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Hurt

Posted by Dollygirl , 22 April 2012 · 43 views

She's ruined everything :'( why did she tell my parents :'( I was going to, when I felt comfortable and safe doing so :'(
Not only has she hurt me, she's hurt them. My mum looks exhausted, my sister is avoiding me, and my dad looks at me like he's helpless, like he can't do anything. I was happier before, with nobody knowing....


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Betrayed

Posted by Dollygirl , 21 April 2012 · 39 views

And it's all my fault, when I was drunk, I got scared and emotional. My best friend was with her boyfriend but I had loads of other close friends there, but I didn't want to find them, I wanted to cry. It was a house party so I found myself a bedroom and cried.my friends came in, and demanded to know what was wrong. Being so drunk, I told my frien...


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17

Posted by Dollygirl , 02 April 2012 · 32 views

I don't even feel like a teenager anymore. I feel old, I feel like I have skipped a few years. Everyone says I act other than my age, that I act wiser or more sensible. I didn't chose it :'( I want to feel young and carefree. I can't even remember what it felt like to not feel hurt :( I genuinely can't remember the careless feeling. I...


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Feeling bad.

Posted by Dollygirl , 21 February 2012 · 32 views

I'm not very well, physically or mentally ATM. I've got a head ache, head colds, I'm shaky and exhausted. And I'm a mess. I hate admitting I'm not coping. I feel like I'm failing myself, like I'm being weak but it hurts :( it hurts too much for me to smile through everyday.
Today, I cried almost all day. I just couldn't ke...






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