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Further from myself

Posted by Dollygirl , 30 September 2012 · 144 views

Recently all I do is run away. I run away from arguments, run away from feelings, and run away from London. I travelled all summer, to morocco and South Africa, to get away, to run away. This weekend, I got away to the coast. But I didn't get away from my feelings. I can't get away from them sometimes. Not only am I shutting everyone else out, but I'm shutting out my own feelings and its taking its toll. I'm hurting now, I'm hurting a lot.
I dont want to share, because I don't want people to have to listen. I don't want to force my feelings on anyone else, and I certainly can't deal with them myself, so I'm stuck in this cycle. When will it end? Will the pain ever go? Because I don't know if its worth it. To have to live with this everyday, I just can't.

It does go. But it comes and it goes. It is like the tide. When you shut out your own feelings, they will wait. They wait for you to open that door again, and they are there. But time gives the benefit of building strength. You are already stronger than you know. To share here, to live your life, traveling and conversing. It is easy to run, but one day you won't. What will happen then? You will be strong and you will be able to do more than you think. Thank you for sharing. Keep sharing...by doing this, you slow the pace of your running away.

June 2016

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