Alters ruining my life
I have the feeling she is only wanting my records to prove whether I really have DID or not. I can understand that it is something that is hard to deal with. My life has been devastated by this disorder. If she has found a psychiatrist that might see me for free then why can she not ask him to see me for an appointment and me give him the medical records instead of her getting a copy of them to read. I told her that she might talk to him and have him explain DID to her. She told me that he is an older psychiatrist, my feelings on this is that older psychiatrist do not really believe in that DID is a real disorder. I may be wrong about this man but it scares me. Also it would not work with me seeing a male psychiatrist there are just things that would not work with me talking about the abuse with a male, my alters would not trust a male.
I care for this person very much she has been apart of my life for almost 30 years. I have know her since she was my teacher when I was 12. We got back in touch with each other around 5 years ago.
She has lived a life where rape and abuse are a foreign concept, do not get me wrong I am thankful for that, I would not wish what I went through on anyone. I am not sure what she thinks. Is she trying to prove I do not really have DID, is she attempting to find a way not to be apart of my life. If that is the reason then just walk away, tell me can not handle the situation. I could handle that more than the constant wondering about what she is thinking. When I asked her once she got real defensive. That was a couple years ago.
Just be honest with me, I am a messed up mental case and you think I am faking because you do not believe in DID. Why would I fake such an awful disabling disorder that has taken my life away.
I barely have anything to live for anyway without someone I love trying discredit me like I am lying. This is why I do not allow people in my life. Why do people want to hurt others just because they can.