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DTC40's Blog



Posted by DTC40 , 27 January 2012 · 49 views

If the first couple of hours is any sign I see laying in bed and hiding as the plans for my day. Is it to much to ask for a couple of really good days. Doc upped a med to help me sleep, knocked me out for about five hours, did nothing for the nightmares.

I want to know why the side effects of quit smoking aides are worse than smoking. Jittery, nervous...


Calm day so far

Posted by DTC40 , 26 January 2012 · 46 views

Calm today so far. I over slept about an hour and got the kids up late to start their school work. They are homeschooled so it is okay, I just like for them to stay on a schedule.

Sitting around sucking on nicotine lozenges. They do help the cravings the funny thing is I have an un-lite cig in my mouth so I can give myself the illusion of smoking....


Awful day from hell

Posted by DTC40 , 25 January 2012 · 50 views

I had to go 2 hours away to see a neurologist to fill out the paper work for me to get my driver's license back due to seizures in the past. It takes four to five months to get into to see this doctor. My ex promised to drive me in that our son works. So this morning he picked me and two of our daughters up and off we go.

We get there and he say...


Changes in my life

Posted by DTC40 , 24 January 2012 · 45 views

I am still at it. Doing Dance Mania with the kids every morning is getting not so hard. I always do the easiest song and dance. My left leg does not move correctly due to the cancer being removed from that leg. 95% of my leg is cement and bone grafts. I promised myself this year I would get up and exercise one time a day something low impact and go f...


Good Day so far

Posted by DTC40 , 23 January 2012 · 47 views

Feeling good would even say close to great. Very little pain compared to normal. Seems like for the first time in a long time just another normal day with the kids. This is a rare day, but what a great thing to have a good day from time to time. DTC


Trying new treatment

Posted by DTC40 , 22 January 2012 · 56 views

Chemo is no longer a treatment option. The past two years have been the longest I have endured. In someways stopping chemo has been such a relief. For the sake of my family and their hope that it will work I am trying an herbal treatment. I have to admit on here that I do not have much hope. If it makes my children feel better then I will try it. I...


Crazy day

Posted by DTC40 , 21 January 2012 · 43 views

I think maybe, hopefully I will have some peace now. She came to my house today banging on the door yelling. My son got angry and went outside. He told her leave and she got infuriated because she had used gas to come to our house and this was my fault in some way. I think this was the last straw for my son, he wanted to know from her how that was my...


Hating what I have become

Posted by DTC40 , 20 January 2012 · 57 views

I went through the 20-year abusive marriage. I am now in a place where I am raising my four beautiful children. Into my life comes another woman. It was unexpected and we fell in love. I am no longer a believer in love conquers all. It is a load of crap, if that were true than my love for my ex husband would have conquered his need for pornography, o...


How to be with an alcoholic, is it possible?

Posted by DTC40 , 18 January 2012 · 50 views

I love her very much. I love hard and hurt hard. She is an alcoholic and admits she needs to work on it. I love her sober and hate her drunk. I do not feel I have the right to ask her to change. I should accept her as she is or get out of the relationship and stay out. Which is not an easy thing. Why do we think we can change people they have to ch...



Posted by DTC40 , 17 January 2012 · 41 views

Another day of feeling bad physically. Cancer pain is bad. I guess I should feel blessed that there is no more chemo. I hate that I have to take so much pain meds to cope with the bone pain. Going to chiroprator in the morning to see if he can help with the severe back pain and put my left shoulder back in place.

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