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DTC40's Blog



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How the hell do I live with this DID

Posted by DTC40 , 01 July 2012 · 18 views

I have lost friendships, jobs and church homes. Stupid thing is a lot of time I can not remember what I have or have not done.
Evidently last week I wrote a letter telling a friend of mine off. She is the only person that I have allowed to stay in my life. Now my alters are attacking her verbally. She knows about my DID. I can not even bare to email...


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Finally feeling better about myself

Posted by DTC40 , 28 June 2012 · 19 views

I actually found a job that I can do from home medical transcription. I used to do this kind of work all the time when my kids were real little. I thought I would try it again, I was not sure because it has been almost 10 years since I have done this type of work and managed to get a job. Makes me feel better to know that I can work again a few hours a...


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TRIGGER SU Attempt

Posted by DTC40 , 25 June 2012 · 38 views

So I stupidly tried again to kill myself. My poor ex husband had to watch the kids for a few days why I was in the psych hospital. He lives with his mother and does not work.
My son and I had some things to do today and he was going to pick up the girls for a few hours. I told my ex and me and our son was through we would come by and pick up the girls....


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Going nuts

Posted by DTC40 , 04 June 2012 · 21 views

Going nuts. It seems like there is just too much stress. I have been in the hospital for complications from the cancer. It has spread to my lungs and I had to be on oxygen because I could not breath or keep my oxygen levels up. I had pneumonia and a bronchial infection. I had to stop smoking, which I know is stupid since I have cancer. The cancer wa...


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Its been awhile

Posted by DTC40 , 21 April 2012 · 18 views

A lot has happened since the last time I blogged. The wedding fell through for many reasons and I had to get an EPO. I took two of my kids and my sons best friend on a 57 hour road trip down to Mississippi and then over to St. Pete Florida and back up to Kentucky. We stopped only to gas up the car and 6 hours in a hotel and two hours on the beach. I c...


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really hurt and confused

Posted by DTC40 , 01 March 2012 · 15 views

My wedding date is set for March 17th. My fiance is having a friend of hers stand up for her. The problem is she just ran back into this friend a few weeks ago that she had not seen for a few years. The issue is that her friend is addicted to pain meds and has begged me for my pain meds that I use for my cancer. The two times I have met her in person...


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Not sure

Posted by DTC40 , 03 February 2012 · 24 views

Not even sure what to do. Depression has come upon me in the past two days. Having a hard time dealing. Called to get into therapist told them what was going on and they can see me February 10th. One week. No one seems to care. I do not even have the heart to try to find a hospital, I would probably end back up in Eastern State Hospital which is a n...


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Trapped in my life

Posted by DTC40 , 02 February 2012 · 16 views

It would be nice to just have one day where you could totally forget your past and just live that day.

I feel trapped in my life and just want to run away for a little while. I know if I leave for a few days that when I come back my life still be there waiting.


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Service Dog

Posted by DTC40 , 31 January 2012 · 25 views

I lost my service dog on October 13th. It was hard loosing her. I thought that I would never get another service dog. She told me before I had grandmal seizures. She was my constant friend for years.

Today I gave in and met another service dog. I need help walking due to the bone cancer. The dog they gave me will tell me before seizures and also hel...


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Just another day

Posted by DTC40 , 28 January 2012 · 15 views

4 am and up from nightmares, kept hiding under the covers hoping to just go back to sleep, no luck.

Frustrated, got an estimate for doing the electrical in our home, 5,000. There went a one week vacation with the kids in Florida this year. I know it sounds petty. I was getting back 5,750. in EIC this year. With the cancer I wanted to just go have so...






July 2014

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