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Dating after 20 year abusive marriage/TW for certain words

Posted by DTC40 , 29 March 2013 · 64 views

I am three years out of an abusive marriage. I have finally completely broken free and moved several states away. My ex and I have four children together. One adult son and three teenage daughters. I am having mixed feelings about dating. I know the statisticss that men who are not the biological father are more likely to sexually abuse a step child and that thought scares me. However, before I finally escaped to another state their father had gotten into child porn and I would not allow him to be around our daughters without supervision. I am scared or should say terrified of getting into a relationship with an abusive man. The only man I was ever with other than the sexual abuse from my father was my ex husband. I am not even sure at the age of 42 how to even start dating. A couple of men have asked me to "have sex with them" which about blew me over. Have I been out of the dating world so long that the first date is not dinner and a drink but apartment and sex?
Should I wait until my daughters are grown before even considering dating. I want someone there to lean on, it is not easy being the only parent and I do not have all the answers. Would having someone else in their life be a plus or a minus for them? I am not sure I have the emotional energy to try to find someone that is good and I do not want people coming in and out of their lives. Well, I guess I just needed to write down things going through my head.

I know how you feel. I havent been so long in an abusive marriage, only a cupple years and I am a single mom from three kids and I have the same fear sometimes. But you have to trust yourself.

July 2015

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