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Frustrated with anxiety

Posted by DTC40 , 23 March 2013 · 90 views

It seems to stupid to me. I have been talking about and planning for this move to Florida for three years. Finally at last I am here, I should be excited and happy and over the moon. I am content, however I keep having small panic attacks. I wish I could pinpoint what it causing them. It is just being in a new place. I feel stupid for having anxiety after accomplishing this move against all odds. I am safe and away from my abusive ex husband. I love the neighborhood. My kids love it here. So when am I having anxiety off and on. We do get lost and it takes twice as long to get back from the store as it does to get there although we have been there several times. However, that is normal, new city and new roads. The internet mix up and not being able to get on Pandys has really been bothering me. I know they will be here to the apartment on Tuesday to get everything set up. It just seems like Tuesday is forever away. I never know when I will have internet or not right now. I am hoping once I find a mental health clinic so I can get my medications for my bi-polar (I have three months refills) and not have to worry about running out or having the finances to pay for them my worries might lessen. My son is bitting at the bit to go back to work and I admired him so much for that, there are not that many 20 yr olds wanting to get back to work so he can help take care of the bills should an emergency arise. I am torn about him not being here with us while he is at work. I do not want him to know I am anxious, he does not need to worry about me. I want so much that he did not have to grow up so fast and basically get a family to take care of before he has even had a chance to date. When his father walked out, our son had to step in because of my bone cancer and the quilt I feel from that is overwhelming. His father leaving and me having cancer took his young adulthood away. I know none of this is making much sense. I am basically just having anxiety in our new place and angry at myself for feeling this way since this move is a good thing. I should be excited and happy and instead I go to bed and worry. Good grief I need to just get over it. DTC

June 2016

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