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Nightmare meds to Nightmare Doctors

Posted by DTC40 , 08 July 2012 · 84 views

The doctor took off the Risperadone cold turkey. I was having really really severe reactions to coming off as I was on it. I asked to be put in the hospital because I was scared I might be a danger to myself. They told me to call back if it got worse, What?!!!! Am I just stupid or was that not what I was doing calling them. I am doing better a little day by day. They told me to follow up with my PCP which I do have an appointment with on Tuesday. I am scared that she is not going to want to refill the meds that I am on now which is Lamictal and valium. I really need something for the anxiety right now and if she does not want me on it because of su attempt, then I hope that she weans me off instead of throwing me cold turkey. I already went from 10 years of Klonopin cold turkey to Valium, I just want someone to listen to me.

I know I am stupid I made an attempt, I had hit rock bottom and I acted stupidly. It just seems when you ask for help even the Psychiatric Doctors do not want to help they just turn you away which makes the depression worse. My son is going with me to the doctor to let her know that we have safe guards in place in that he keeps my meds in a locked box and only gives me one day of meds at a time. I am afraid she is going to jump down my throat because one of my kids has to do this. She was really really angry at the attempt because it was unfair to my kids. I know that, but no one is able to see the desperation that it takes to get that low. No one wants to validate my feelings, they just want to fuss or yell at me like I am a two year old.

The closer it gets to my appointment with her the more my anxiety rises. I do not think I can handle one more doctor turning me away.

June 2016

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