Pandora's Aquarium: How to be with an alcoholic, is it possible? - Pandora's Aquarium

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I love her very much. I love hard and hurt hard. She is an alcoholic and admits she needs to work on it. I love her sober and hate her drunk. I do not feel I have the right to ask her to change. I should accept her as she is or get out of the relationship and stay out. Which is not an easy thing. Why do we think we can change people they have to change themselves, me included.
 

1 Comments On This Entry

It is a very hard thing to even fathom trying to deal with. I understand what you are going through, and I am sorry.

For quite a few years early on in my relationship with my husband, I lived with him in his active alcoholic state. Eventually, he got sober, as far as I know. He started drinking again a few years ago, and when I decided I could not go through that again, and told him I could not stay with him the rest of my life if he kept drinking, he chose booze over me.

It was the final thing on top of many other things that had gone bad in our marriage. But it was a deal breaker for me.

Whatever your choice, I am sorry, because I agree, it is not an easy thing. I don't know why it is that we think we can change those we love. Unfortunately, our love alone will not change them.

I am sorry I don't have the answers for you. I just wanted you to know I understand, and I am thinking of you.

I hope you take gentle care of your self.
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