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really hurt and confused

01 March 2012
Posted by DTC40  
My wedding date is set for March 17th. My fiance is having a friend of hers stand up for her. The problem is she just ran back into this friend a few weeks ago that she had not seen for a few years. The issue is that her friend is addicted to pain meds and has begged me for my pain meds that I use for my cancer. The two times I have met her in...
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Not sure

03 February 2012
Posted by DTC40  
Not even sure what to do. Depression has come upon me in the past two days. Having a hard time dealing. Called to get into therapist told them what was going on and they can see me February 10th. One week. No one seems to care. I do not even have the heart to try to find a hospital, I would probably end back up in Eastern State Hospital...
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Trapped in my life

02 February 2012
Posted by DTC40  
It would be nice to just have one day where you could totally forget your past and just live that day.

I feel trapped in my life and just want to run away for a little while. I know if I leave for a few days that when I come back my life still be there waiting.

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Service Dog

31 January 2012
Posted by DTC40  
I lost my service dog on October 13th. It was hard loosing her. I thought that I would never get another service dog. She told me before I had grandmal seizures. She was my constant friend for years.

Today I gave in and met another service dog. I need help walking due to the bone cancer. The dog they gave me will tell me before seizures and...
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Just another day

28 January 2012
Posted by DTC40  
4 am and up from nightmares, kept hiding under the covers hoping to just go back to sleep, no luck.

Frustrated, got an estimate for doing the electrical in our home, 5,000. There went a one week vacation with the kids in Florida this year. I know it sounds petty. I was getting back 5,750. in EIC this year. With the cancer I wanted to just go...
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Ugh

27 January 2012
Posted by DTC40  
If the first couple of hours is any sign I see laying in bed and hiding as the plans for my day. Is it to much to ask for a couple of really good days. Doc upped a med to help me sleep, knocked me out for about five hours, did nothing for the nightmares.

I want to know why the side effects of quit smoking aides are worse than smoking. Jittery,...
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Calm day so far

26 January 2012
Posted by DTC40  
Calm today so far. I over slept about an hour and got the kids up late to start their school work. They are homeschooled so it is okay, I just like for them to stay on a schedule.

Sitting around sucking on nicotine lozenges. They do help the cravings the funny thing is I have an un-lite cig in my mouth so I can give myself the illusion of...
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Awful day from hell

25 January 2012
Posted by DTC40  
I had to go 2 hours away to see a neurologist to fill out the paper work for me to get my driver's license back due to seizures in the past. It takes four to five months to get into to see this doctor. My ex promised to drive me in that our son works. So this morning he picked me and two of our daughters up and off we go.

We get there...
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Changes in my life

24 January 2012
Posted by DTC40  
I am still at it. Doing Dance Mania with the kids every morning is getting not so hard. I always do the easiest song and dance. My left leg does not move correctly due to the cancer being removed from that leg. 95% of my leg is cement and bone grafts. I promised myself this year I would get up and exercise one time a day something low impact...
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Good Day so far

23 January 2012
Posted by DTC40  
Feeling good would even say close to great. Very little pain compared to normal. Seems like for the first time in a long time just another normal day with the kids. This is a rare day, but what a great thing to have a good day from time to time. DTC

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