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How do you tell?

Posted by Aurora325 , 25 May 2012 · 79 views

So today I'm with my family in Indianna and my mom wanted me to show my aunt the tattoo that I got. Well I showed her and then I showed her the next tattoo I was going to get. First response was well that's big do you want that to show on your dress on the wedding day?! The question I always get. The question pisses me off this tattoo represents the pain I have gone through from my sexual assault and rape and how I survived. It's my survivor tattoo. It's a beautiful blueish star gazer Lilly in my back right shoulder. I would be proud to rock that tattoo. But I says yeah well there is always cover up. Then came the next Q. Well what does it mean. And I had only the half ass reasons that add on to the real tattoo meaning. My favorite flower, and it represents my tree hugger side. They just gave me the look like Carly your ridiculous why do you would you get that. And then they where like those are the reasons?! Well how am I supposed to tell my mom and my aunt during vacation that it's a survivor tattoo. When my aunt doesn't even know and my mom only knows about the assault not the rape. Add onto it she can't even say I was assaulted she says well you know that thing that happened between you and Casey. I was totally silenced as they looked at me like I was an idiot when I showed probably one of the most important tattoos to me right now. I wanted to cry. I just gave up and said well I really like it and walked away. Then when I went and sat down by my cousin I heard them laughing, now I know it probably wasn't about ths tattoo but it felt like it. I wanted to cry so bad. But instead I went upstairs and talked to one of my friends that new what happened and he made me feel better. But this tattoo thing still bothers me. I care so much about what my family thinks and I hate having them think that this is so silly. But how do I tell my mom that it's a survivor tattoo. She can't even say I was sexually assaulted. I just want to run into the room where she is and say no it's not a dumb tattoo it's a survivor tattoo! But I know I can't do that. I should wait till our vacation is over but I don't want to. I just want to tell her now but then once I tell her I can't leave and say I need to go I have to stay in the room while she responds in a awkward way making it even harder to deal with. That's really ways making me wait. So I can tell her and then jump in my car and drive away to a friends for a bit if things take a turn for the worse. I think I will just sit her down and be like I need to talk to you. I don't have a problem telling friends or people I don't know but I can't tell my family :/



I bet I am old enough to be your mother and I like the your idea for a tatoo to represent your suvivorship. I would like to see it.

You will tell your family when the time is right for you and it was not right for you on vacation. It maybe that there never is a right time to disclose to your family.

Hang in there and go with what your gut tells you.

Blessings

I bet I am old enough to be your mother and I like the your idea for a tatoo to represent your suvivorship. I would like to see it.You will tell your family when the time is right for you and it was not right for you on vacation. It maybe that there never is a right time to disclose to your family. Hang in there and go with what your gut tells you.Blessings





Thank you so much Bella yeah I told her yesterday cuz I just couldn't wait and she told me she was raped when she was younger and I was blown and didn't know how to respond. Here this is the tat: http://i.imgur.com/bdlIPl.jpg. It's the bottom flower that will be on my right back shoulder blade connected to a tattoo on my rubs that says Dance. It will be connected by black vines that turn dark green
Wow Aurora325, I'm impressed you told your mom. Maybe this will strengthen your relationship with her. I hope you're able to get the support you want from her.

I can relate to having others not understand the importance and validity of your actions. Sexual abuse can be really difficult to talk about in our culture, yet its impact can be so profound. It affects our behavior in ways others notice, but they don't understand because it is so hard to explain the reasons to them. It's a conundrum, to say the least.

The tattoo from the link you posted looks awesome. I think it's really great that you've found this way to express yourself that you feel proud of. Rock on.

Wow Aurora325, I'm impressed you told your mom. Maybe this will strengthen your relationship with her. I hope you're able to get the support you want from her. I can relate to having others not understand the importance and validity of your actions. Sexual abuse can be really difficult to talk about in our culture, yet its impact can be so profound. It affects our behavior in ways others notice, but they don't understand because it is so hard to explain the reasons to them. It's a conundrum, to say the least. The tattoo from the link you posted looks awesome. I think it's really great that you've found this way to express yourself that you feel proud of. Rock on.


Thank you so much Greenbean! My problem is this: I was raised by my family with the mentality of suck it up and get over it. Well after I came to realization of my two attacks that was the hardest mentality to get over. Now my mom who I view as this warrior princess lady tells me she was raped to but my mom is so strong and amazing I can't imagine her ever having to deal with stuff like this nor do I see any signs (though maybe I was just to ignorant to see them). So it kinda reinstilled the mentallity of suck it up and get over it. Also I don't know it just baffled me I don't know what to make of it but hopefully it helps :) thanks about the tattoo my mom says I should wait till I'm 25 but honestly I don't want to lol

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