Trying to Remember Part II

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Trying to Remember Part II

14 April 2012

Posted by Aurora325

I met with my T this past Thursday about not being able to remember parts of my rape.I asked her about hypnosis and EMB I think it is called and asked if those would be helpful. She said possibly but there is a good chance that those methods might bring back false memories. Now that is the last thing I would want to do. I asked her what else I could do to try and remember. She told me that that was up to my unconscious mind to release that memory when it thought I was ready to handle it. That or if I tried to think about it alot. But I already think and try to remember it a lot. She then said that it might just be the case that your mind checked out for parts of it because you couldn't handle the trauma and if that is the case then you will probably never remember those parts because you weren't "there" to have relocation of those pieces. If that's the case that def sucks but at the same time I kinda already guessed something like that might be the case so it wasn't that disheartening and I think I could get used to knowing that I wont be able to remember everything and excepting it. For any one else that is dealing with this I hope that info just helped because I know there was a few that have gone through this and are trying to remember.

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8 Comments On This Entry

I have that exact problem myself, i also try and try to remember and sometimes i even think i am starting to but then realise i am just forcing images into my head .. It's just so frustrating and i feel for you! :hug:

effystardust, 14 April 2012 - 04:43 PM

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Oh my gosh I know I do the same thing!!!! And then it makes you second guess about what you actually remember...like did this actually happen or is it what I made myself believe happen. For a few min its so frustrating. I feel your pain to hun. And its surprising how many girls and guys suffer from not being able to remember. Not knowing is worse then knowing sometimes. :hug:

Aurora325, 15 April 2012 - 12:27 PM

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It's like you have just taken the words straight out my mouth!! I sometimes think that my head is just that messed up iv conjured up this story and nothing ever happened. Then i have to almost slap myself and think no it did happen i remember part of it. :hug:

effystardust, 15 April 2012 - 04:20 PM

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Thank you for posting this Aurora, it was really useful. Like you said yourself, it kind of confirms what we already suspected and that is upsetting but at the same time its comforting to know that we may never have to suffer the truth. I have my T session tomorrow, so will try to ask the same and see what she suggests, I will post on here asap. I hope you are ok? :hug:

BabyElphie, 16 April 2012 - 02:31 AM

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Yeah I'm good Elphie and yeah it's bitter sweet. Like they say some times ignorance is bliss and this time it might be just that. Besides its gives me this weird feeling of contentment to not know and just letting it be that way. Like I am getting better in a sense and excepting things. Are you okay though? And hopefully ur T helps

keep me posted

Aurora325, 16 April 2012 - 01:23 PM

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effystardust, on 15 April 2012 - 04:20 PM, said:

I know I do that too for both of my cases. There was just so munch info to process and part of me thinks I honestly don't want to remember because I'm worried that I have made a big deal out of nothing and that I must have made up half this stuff to make myself feel better. Then I just have to mentally slap myself to pull myself out of those dreary thoughts and realize that I haven't made things up. :hug:

It is so surprising and disheartening to see how many girls and boys blame themselves for these things. Btw if you ever wanna talk or chat I'm all ears

Aurora325, 16 April 2012 - 03:40 PM

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I'm not too bad thank you, had a terrible nights sleep last night, kept crying out in my sleep and woke up crying

but anyway apart from that I'm ok. I talked to my T on Tuesday and she pretty much said the same as your T. She said it's probably better, as hard as it seems to try not to put too much thought into what might have happened because it's easy to come up with explanations that could fill in the gaps that aren't necessarily exactly what happened. It is almost comforting to know that it may never come back and I guess I'm ok with that even though it might be difficult to accept initially (I'm the sort of person that wants to fit all of the pieces together and know things for certain but maybe that can't always be the way forward). I know for sure that I fought back in my first SA which gives me hope that I did the same in my Second SA even though I can't remember. I also totally understand the feeling that you've so ehow made all of it up just to make yourself feel better and then being angry at yourself for because you know it did happen. Yep I do that too. It's surprising how many people do the same as well. Thank you for posting this on here, it's confirmed so much for me x

BabyElphie, 19 April 2012 - 03:03 AM

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Same it makes me sad that this is SUCH a prevalent subject and affects so many yet it's such a taboo subject. It's passed over like it's nothing in today's society. I'm srry that u woke up crying I'm lucky in the fact that that hasn't been one of my problems. I just flash backs and shrink up now when faced with being attacked rather then fighting back(working on it though)

it's also good that ur coming to terms with not knowing. It's such a hard thing to do. And no problem it's just as helpful to me that you responded so thank you!! :hug: