Today is blood day at school. They came in. One of the girls in my homeroom asked if I was donating. I said I didn't know. She said that she would if she could. She told me of her mother, how donated blood had saved her life, enabling her to live one more precious day after another. I decided to donate. In her memory. Her mother died a month ago. I grieve it, even though I met her but once.
So I went. I waited in line. They gave me a pamphlet. Though it didn't say it in so many words, it listed those who are befouled and not pure enough to donate. "Have you had sex with multiple partners?" "Have you had sex with a male who has had sex with another male?" "Are you a prostitute?" "Have you had sex with multiple partners?" All sorts of questions. A list of everything they did.
When I got to the front of the line. I waited until there were no students around. I whispered to the man: "I don't know if I can donate. I was gang raped."
He took me to the nurse, who told me that I couldn't for 10 years.
Their shit in me. Their spunk in me. Their piss in me. Their saliva in me. On me. Everywhere.
Its all I can feel right now.
So dirty and disgusting.
I want to curl up on the ground and wait for it to swallow me.
Of course, they are free to do what they want.
I am a contaigen.
Set to infect others with my impurities.
Just feeling really bad. And walking around school. With all these pure blooded creatures. I just feel so dirty and disgusting. Like their germs are wafting off me and contaminating everyone and everything I come in contact with. I keep using my hand sanitizer. But it isn't enough. I need to bathe in it or something. But even then. They can't clean what is in me. What they put in me.