Letters to my children... Part 1
I suffered years of abuse; emotional abuse and most significantly sexual abuse. I have PTSD, anxiety, and depression. I have been warned by the court and threatened by my ex to NEVER tell them. Or else. Unfortunately, this leaves me vulnerable to MORE abuse. The court system EMPOWERS my ex, an abuser. I have not known how to handle this situation... I do NOT want to hurt my children. But I can't shoulder this burden any longer. I have made a decision to take back my power and tell my children my story.
But, what shall I tell them? That their dad forced me to have sex with him?? Kept me up for hours and hours until I "consented"? Pinned me down until I "gave in"? Stripped me nude while I slept? Actually raped me while I yelled "NO!"?
I would have stayed with him forever.... But my soul was dying... I couldn't live like that anymore. I had to save myself... And my children. My daughter (at 3-4) was acting out sexually. I DESPERATELY wanted to protect her. Keep her safe. But... I couldn't... The system protected HIM. I was lying... I was being vengeful...
May the Lord bless me and keep me (and them). I am telling them my story. It won't be pretty but it will be the truth. If he had raped a stranger or an aquaintace the court system would not protect him. Keep all of us in your prayers. We will need them.