I have a cat whose name is Max. He is a gorgeous kitty. I chose him from the shelter because he was so fluffy and purred when I held him. I wanted a pretty fluffy kitty to keep my feet warm at night, to snuggle with me, and to be my companion. I paid the shelter fee and I brought him home. I was so happy to have this darling fuzzy cat. He was so adorable every time I saw him I would pick him up for a cuddle. His response was to panic and flee. How could this be? All I wanted to do was love him. Did he not know that I would not do him harm? So I continued. Whenever I would see him I would pick him up for a cuddle. He would learn eventually that all I wanted to do was love him. But he didn't. What he learned was that I scared him. I made him nervous. He didn't want to be near me. All he would do was panic and run. I was angry. How could he do this to me? I cared for him, I loved him!
Despite my good intentions Max and I were at odds. Then we moved. I had no time to grab him and hold him, hoping he would respond. Funny thing happened. He responded. This cat who did not want to be near me wanted to be near me. Don't get me wrong, he still hates to be held. BUT he comes to me, lets me stroke him, and purrs like a lion.
The part that disturbs me about my relationship with Max is that I was Max. How could I not recognize that I was treating this darling creature the way I was treated? I am grateful that I did learn that love comes on its own terms. So very grateful.