Pandora's Aquarium: anni 1995 2000 - Pandora's Aquarium

so friday night I was reflecting with a friend

about the fact that it was an anni for the 2 of us

and also a relationship anni with my rapist and stalker


she knows them both (so does JP)

I have also been thinking about dad being dead

and the fact that he is dead... his death did not end the flashbacks

i am again reflecting on the passage of time

i have lived here longer than anywhere

and this apt still does not feel like a home

i have a friend from uni that still stays in touch

i have a worker who undermines me all the time

she has been around the longest


Dr W has been around for a long time

time out for her daughter's birth and her mom's death

oh yeah and when she had to go into the hospital herself

JP knows about all the pivotal players in my life

VR knows my rapist and RW who also knows my rapist

RW was the most helpful from that little emeshed group

then KS... it is amazing that she is still alive

and W yes, she knows my rapist as well

i've lost all interest in groups again

and i have dropped out of drumming again

this apartment is like a furnace

I asked the new chiro intern to

document how baked my skin was

my agreement with Dr B is

to eat

to get glasses fixed

to go to the waterpark


she wrote me a letter

apologizing for cancelling my appointment

due to the problems with her plane


i am glad that i am not dry heaving today

i told ks about that day

i did not tell her about the star of david or did i ?

e and l were there when i got it blessed

it did not protect me from my rapist

i gave it to her that day


she picked it out the day i contacted the shelters

a rcc 's partner calling shelters about her


to be continued

:sleepy:/> :banana:/> :glare:/>