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the husband of my parent committee chair
was having an affair with another parent
Almost everyone knew except her
cuz they were having sex in their car
in the school parking lot
I was told by my supervisors to say nothing
I found it unsettling and triggering
Over the years since leaving work
I kept having these flashes about my mom
and a neighbour, a police officer
I liked him I think
My mom seemed happy
They would play badminton together
in our adjourning back yards
the flashes were coming up more and more often
at college where I was playing badminton
I had left my program and
less than 2 years later
with the T of the day
I was reading a book about affairs
and told the T
her response was so what
affairs are common
and my response was
so what if my dad raped me
the T ended the session there
for the holidays
My dad did rape me
because of my mom and this police officer
My mom was talking to me about the police officer
after my dad's death
and I was right
the whole neighbourhood
had been talking about my mom and this police officer
and Dad raped me.
My mom was almost bragging about it
I felt sick then I feel sick now
Mom was more validating than
the T of the day
or any of my supports
who seem to enjoy
validating my pain
to be continued
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About my blog
Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.
What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.
There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.