Help
Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.
You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.
So some background
Birthdays in my family are really loaded
triggers possibly for others
definitely for me
a nice birthday
card cake choice of dinner gift maybe a party sounds safe
real real birthday lots of csa with drinking
birthday cards stopped after my statement to the police (and so did Christmas cards)
cards must be sent to each family member
cards must never be sent late
gifts are announced and compared
and all sorts of unspoken rules
order of birthdays
March
September
October
November
March
younger brother CSA at age 16 mths........age 4
September
dad (P) now dead
October
mom(P) watch out for this one
October
self CSA at age 4 crisis time
I try to get myself gifts and a card
maybe a nice dinner maybe a party
October 31
younger sister CSA at age 4 ...........age 11 she is now dead
November
older brother (P) CSA at age 5 he is now dead
Birthdays were NOT nice times in my family
Birthdays are anniversaries of CSA
a line from a poem I wrote possible trigger
so that child you yet again destroy
can yearn for birthday joy
BIRTHDAYS sigh
Birthdays in my family are really loaded
triggers possibly for others
definitely for me
a nice birthday
card cake choice of dinner gift maybe a party sounds safe
real real birthday lots of csa with drinking
birthday cards stopped after my statement to the police (and so did Christmas cards)
cards must be sent to each family member
cards must never be sent late
gifts are announced and compared
and all sorts of unspoken rules
order of birthdays
March
September
October
November
March
younger brother CSA at age 16 mths........age 4
September
dad (P) now dead
October
mom(P) watch out for this one
October
self CSA at age 4 crisis time
I try to get myself gifts and a card
maybe a nice dinner maybe a party
October 31
younger sister CSA at age 4 ...........age 11 she is now dead
November
older brother (P) CSA at age 5 he is now dead
Birthdays were NOT nice times in my family
Birthdays are anniversaries of CSA
a line from a poem I wrote possible trigger
so that child you yet again destroy
can yearn for birthday joy
BIRTHDAYS sigh
Tags: Birthdays virtual parties and reflections
Share This Entry:
2 Comments On This Entry
Page 1 of 1
About my blog
This is basically my space to spill out everything I'm thinking and feeling.
Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.
What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.
There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.
Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.
What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.
There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.
to be strange dynamics
around birthdays
whether you get a card
whether you get gifts
whether you have a birthday lunch
my brother and nephew
both had unusual birthdays this year
so I am waiting to see what happens for me