Pandora's Aquarium: danusia007&#39;s Blog - Pandora's Aquarium

I am reviewing old case files

01 October 2009

Posted by danusia007 in MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY RAPIST, CLINICAL SERVICES support, CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., MY STORY

I am re writing them as draftrs for chapters in my story

Tags: housing and support

I am still recovering from all of those deaths

25 September 2009

Posted by danusia007 in cancer and ptsd, career and COLLEGE, career and UNIVERSITY, CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, My Family I salute my brother, My Family SISTER, MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY, support

I am stunned still from all of the deaths in the last 5 years

I am at a loss for words by the insensitivity of some supports

and the kindness of others

i have been offline due to safety concerns

08 April 2009

Posted by danusia007 in MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY

see my posts

Tags: My stalker and assailant remains free

the adjournment will probly be postponed

19 March 2009

Posted by danusia007 in CLINICAL SERVICES support, CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., ACTIVIST, MY STORY

different words for more delays !!!!

Tags: housing and support

medical model vs trauma model

07 January 2009

Posted by danusia007 in REFLECTIONS, PROFILE, MY STORY, MY HEALING CIRCLE, CLINICAL SERVICES support, CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., ACTIVIST, support

i would rather have my supports

focus on what happened to me

as opposed to what is wrong with me

unfortunately the focus tends to be on the second

rather than the first

Tags: tributes reflections

it is a sad commentary

20 December 2008

Posted by danusia007 in MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY, PROFILE, REFLECTIONS

when i can not safely attend a memorial service for a friend

i have been offline due to injuries t warning

16 December 2008

Posted by danusia007 in MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY

i will write more later

Tags: tributes reflections

The holiday season and child prositution (trigger warnings)

27 November 2008

Posted by danusia007 in My Family I salute my brother, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, My Family OLDER BROTHER Perp and Victim, My Family SISTER, MY STORY

trigger warnings

this may be very disjointed

i will try to write about the child prositution here

between now and the new year

how it involved uncles and grandfathers

how it involved men from dad's workplace company

how it involved a bowling league

how these men

turned christmas into a nightmare

and not a time of tidings and...

Tags: child prositution trigger warnings !

I started with a grief group

28 October 2008

Posted by danusia007 in REFLECTIONS, MY STORY, MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend, cancer and ptsd, support

The first group was ok. I did not binge during the group YAY ! I was able to tell a little about some of the deaths that have happened.

I am looking forward to the next group.

Nightmare about Dad Trigger warning

09 October 2008

Posted by danusia007 in My Family I salute my brother, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, My Family NEPHEW, My Family OLDER BROTHER Perp and Victim, My Family SISTER, MY STORY

So after staying in my parents house

i should not be surprised that I had a nightmare about

Dad raping me

strange though that he can rape me

years after being dead

* shudder *

Tags: My Story

some sort of standard

27 September 2008

Posted by danusia007 in CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY

I have lived in a housing project for years

repairs are sporadically done

rent increases are a higher % than market rent

safety concerns abound

and I do not live a life free from violence

Tags: housing and support

what is courage ?

16 September 2008

Posted by danusia007 in PROFILE, MY STORY, cancer and ptsd, REFLECTIONS

My first christmas

she is 11 soon to be 12

My second birthday

she is 13

I am siting on her lap

playing with farm animals

I am 3

She is 15

we are at the funeral for her mother

I am 4

She is 16

she is the bridesmaid for her older sister

I am the flower girl

who will be indulged with ice cream sundaes

I am 6

She is 18

her...

Tags: For Courage

Icon 2 Comments

Start of year 3 at pandys

16 September 2008

Posted by danusia007 in MY HEALING CIRCLE, MY STORY, PROFILE, REFLECTIONS

I joined Pandys after a visit to my hometown

a year later I was again visiting my hometown

and 2 years later I will be visiting my hometown

I am writing this quickly as my time is limited

and I may add more later

Tags: tributes reflections

I miss having daily internet

28 July 2008

Posted by danusia007 in CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY

I get to lurk

read topics

do quick hi

and waves

I have given up on my workers

and am playing hide and seek again

123 YOU RE IT

one new worker today

called me by my stalker's name

she at least had reviewed my file

unlike some of my other workers

what children game am I playing today

Here We go round the mulberry brush ???

Tags: Internet irritations

flooding while having heat exhaustion

07 July 2008

Posted by danusia007 in My Family OLDER BROTHER Perp and Victim, MY HEALING CIRCLE, MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend, MY RAPIST, MY STORY

last weekend I flooded with memories

about both

my older brother

and my rapist,

this is the time of year for memories

and trying to belong

even if just on the fringes

of one of my "communities "

2 of my workers are still behaving abusive

and denying their conduct

I am refusing to behave

in their game playing and...

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Top 10 comments plus

17 June 2008

Posted by danusia007 in CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, My Family I salute my brother, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, My Family NEPHEW, My Family OLDER BROTHER Perp and Victim, My Family SISTER, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY, REFLECTIONS, support

if you don't want to drive the car, dont reve the engine

- a message to my rapist from my t,

it did not deal with the pressuring by her around sex

you deserve (fill in the blank) various comments by a CSA/partner abuse counseller

you are a good person - repeatedly said by a counsellor who protects both my stalker and rapist

its not...

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

A conspiracy of silence

05 June 2008

Posted by danusia007 in MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY RAPIST, CLINICAL SERVICES support, CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., ACTIVIST, MY STORY

There is a conspirancy of silence

hidden behind a wall

of silence

do not tell what happen

we do not want to hear

do not write about what happen

we do not want to see

we do not want others

to know

that you were raped here

by one of our clients

we do not want others

to know

that a rapist

attends our agency

we do not want...

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 2 Comments

for a community activist extraordinaire

05 June 2008

Posted by danusia007 in REFLECTIONS, MY STORY, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY RAPIST, MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend, MY HEALING CIRCLE, My Family SISTER, cancer and ptsd, support, ACTIVIST

at some point I may list all of her community work

today I was crying

about remembering a speech she gave for her friend

after her friend's death,

she gave her friend a voice.

about remembering how she gave me the opportunity

to speak about my sister

she gave my sister a voice.

about remembering how for years

she helped give a...

supportive counselling

02 June 2008

Posted by danusia007 in CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY, REFLECTIONS, support

peer support with a power imbalance

Tags: housing and support