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danusia007 and usspandora like this

MY BABY SISTER

15 July 2007
Posted by danusia007   in My Family I salute my brother, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, My Family NEPHEW, My Family OLDER BROTHER Perp and Victim, My Family SISTER, MY STORY, please forgive me, REFLECTIONS
She was born at home

I wrote a story about her birth in grade 8

I am not in the photos of her homecoming from the hospital

She is in the photo for big brother's 5th birthday she is less tha a month old

She is in a Christmas photo; she is less than 2 months old; mom is holding her and one of my toy dolls


She is in the photos for baby...
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Tags: Sister She tried to charge her perps

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Posted by danusia007   in MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend, MY HEALING CIRCLE My Music, My Family I salute my brother, MY RAPIST, MY STORY, support
1 year since brother's loss of speech and that insane 16 hr admission

triggers a lot for me and trigger warnings for anyone else

1 year since rcc counsellor-friend's death .... to her gypsy soul

anni for rape by my rapist ( ummm swim suits and water parks and movies and showers and sunroom and couch )

anni for Dad trying to drown...
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Tags: tributes reflections

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July 5 2007

05 July 2007
Posted by danusia007   in CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., My HEALING CIRCLE Virtual Parties, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY, REFLECTIONS
July 5 2007


I am still sick with heat exhaustion.


My knee has improved a little.

I got some new glasses. I am still waiting for my glasses for working on the computor. Hopefully less typos !!


I am still doing my fantasy vacation. The local merchants are being very helpful.





My favourite waiter is back, tonight I thanked him for...
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Tags: My stalker and assailant remains free

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death of a worker

04 July 2007
Posted by danusia007   in cancer and ptsd, career and COLLEGE, My Family SISTER, MY HEALING CIRCLE, MY HEALING CIRCLE My Music, MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY
she was a survivor of a residential school

she wrote a children's book about her experience

she was already terminally ill when I met her

she taught me about traditions from my heritage

her plans to help me ended when her cancer spread

she did introduce me to the staff at another centre

she encouraged my drumming


she was unable to...
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Tags: Please share my grief a healing circle

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Death of a perp

04 July 2007
Posted by danusia007   in CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, My Family OLDER BROTHER Perp and Victim, MY STORY, support
TRIGGER WARNINGS


this is still in progress

mom's oldest brother


special relationship with big brother


aunt's son left alone with him and that cousin is doing a lot of acting out

all my aunts were abused by him

why leave him alone with children ?

he had a say in my family

mom would often listen to him instead of Dad

two of his...
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Tags: Please share my grief a healing circle

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Clothesline Tshirt

30 June 2007
Posted by danusia007   in support, REFLECTIONS, MY STORY, My Family SISTER, ACTIVIST
started June 30 2007













worn when I gave my speech

worn when I gave my CICB statement

Tags: tributes reflections

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Posted by danusia007   in MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY
1 suicide attempt 3 days critical care I phoned 911 5 months after final assault

1 friend's suicide ... my rapist phoned the night I was discharged 7 mths after

evacuation from building 8 mths after

2nd suicide attempt slept off 10 months after

Sister's death rapist phoned me (3 weeks after her death )

Stalker in my support group...
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Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

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Posted by danusia007   in MY STORY
a list in progress started feb 3 before my laptop crashed



Mega trigger warnings











Grandpa (Dad's dad) age 3 ... age 4 ... baby sister's birthday baby.... brother's birthday


Uncle age 4 ...age 15 family reunion
Uncle... age 2 ... age 3 ... age 15 family reunion
Uncle... age 15 family reunion
Cousin before age 13 ......
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Tags: My Story

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Posted by danusia007   in MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY
poem started in april 2006 upon my return to this site




she raped me

and i am told she will not change

there were certain steps to her grooming
I watch her
redancing them with you
the seduction
the manipulation
the flattery

that mix tape
the one she worked on for hours
telling me and then you
meticously chosing each song
and choreographing...
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Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

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In Canada

26 May 2007
Posted by danusia007   in career and COLLEGE, career and UNIVERSITY, career MY CAREER, CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY
Being Lesbian or Gay

IS NOT A CRIME

BASHING IS !

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

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Show respect

25 May 2007
Posted by danusia007   in MY STORY, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY RAPIST, career and UNIVERSITY, career and COLLEGE, ACTIVIST, PROFILE
Without consent,

any sexual contact

including

touching, kissing and holding


is legally considered


sexual assault



ASK FIRST

NO MEANS NO


Beforre you

intitiate physical

or sexual contact


find out

what your partner wants

and RESPECT THEIR WISHES

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in MY STORY, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY RAPIST, career and UNIVERSITY, career and COLLEGE, ACTIVIST, PROFILE
NO means NO

Not now means no

I have a boyfriend/girlfriend means NO

Maybe later means NO

No thanks means NO

You're not my type means NO

$#@!!!! means NO


I'd rather be alone


right now means no



Don't touch me means NO

I really like you but.... means NO

Let's just go to sleep means NO

I'm not...
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Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

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Posted by danusia007   in My Family I salute my brother, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, MY HEALING CIRCLE, MY STORY, My Family OLDER BROTHER Perp and Victim, My Family SISTER, MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend
unresolved grief major trigger warnings






my mom's mom age 3 I named her as a victim of violence in 2001

aunt on dad's side age 4 breast cancer triggerered 1991

my dad's mom age 7 she should be named as a victim of violence

my godmother age 11 - 12 cancer

my dad's dad age 13 ??? PERP

my older brother age 21 self...
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Tags: My Story

Icon 1 Comments

LAPTOP PROBS

27 March 2007
Posted by danusia007   in MY HEALING CIRCLE, MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY, support
I will be back soon I hope Thanks to Kacy for all of her support !

I miss chat. Heya to Doc, Aira, and Moonstar !


March 27 2007

Tags: Internet irritations

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Posted by danusia007   in MY RAPIST, My Family NEPHEW, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, My Family I salute my brother, CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY
mom is in hospital

bro is barely speaking

he did get his birthday present

visits with nephew off and on between Dec 2004 to Oct 2006

a visit with him for his birthday april 2007

i went to his life plan meeting May 1 2007

apartment is full of water damage

and is sloowwlly drying out

i am still getting hang up calls

i am still hiding in...
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Tags: My stalker and assailant remains free

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Pocket Riders needed

01 February 2007
Posted by danusia007   in MY STORY, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY RAPIST, My Family SISTER
I keep having run ins with my rapist's friends.

I have added a lot this month in My Voice under do you ever expect to run into your rapist. Her friends keep popping up.

One friend spent from 2000 -2003 being disruptive at one agency, as well at another agency. She was also contacting me at my home and in the community. She had a long...
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Tags: My stalker and assailant remains free

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Birthdays and my family

20 October 2006
Posted by danusia007   in My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, MY STORY, REFLECTIONS
So some background

Birthdays in my family are really loaded

triggers possibly for others

definitely for me

a nice birthday

card cake choice of dinner gift maybe a party sounds safe



real real birthday lots of csa with drinking

birthday cards stopped after my statement to the police (and so did Christmas cards)


cards must be sent to...
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Tags: Birthdays virtual parties and reflections

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My birthday is Oct 21

20 October 2006
Posted by danusia007   in MY HEALING CIRCLE, MY STORY
and no I am not telling my age
an internet horoscope program
said I am born under Scorpio
and not Libra like I always thought
<_< so October 21 is my birthday :rolleyes:

Tags: Birthdays virtual parties and reflections

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Posted by danusia007   in MY STORY, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, REFLECTIONS, MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend
So I had trouble falling asleep last night
The crisis line counsellor was the one
who sings me a silly birthday song
I wanted to hear it again
and I got my wish
I was yawning but could not fall asleep
I phoned one of my support's voice mail
and told her some of the things
I can't tell the crisis line
She knows about this reaction
I feel...
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Tags: Birthdays virtual parties and reflections

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About my blog

This is basically my space to spill out everything I'm thinking and feeling.

Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.

What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.

There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.

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