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Puddle's Blog


I'm back

Posted by Puddle , 16 November 2012 · 19 views

Trigger warning. And I swear.

Been a while, right? Quite a lot has happened since I went on my pandys hiatus, so I'll catch up. Uhmm...I filled out the Courage to Heal workbook, it was good for organizing my thoughts, and it encouraged me to talk about it with a few friends I trust. That went okay, nobody freaked out, life went on, etc. Summer ha...



Posted by Puddle , 29 January 2012 · 22 views

I've been so useless and depressed the past few weeks, and I really hate it. I'm just tired of everything. Tired of swallowing down food, tired of thinking, tired of being tired...The worst is having to force myself to be all fake and happy around my friends when all I want to do is lie there and stare at the ceiling. I hate how my friends and my...


How Did This Happen?

Posted by Puddle , 14 January 2012 · 35 views

I was having a really bad time Thursday. I feel so much calmer about it now, which is the only way Iím able to write about it. Anyway, what happened.
I was sitting in my math class, and the teacher started talking about this study. It sounded very similar to a study Iíd participated in last semester for class credit. I didnít really think much of it unt...


Disclosure (kinda)

Posted by Puddle , 30 December 2011 · 18 views

Good news: last night, I finally summoned the courage to get on Rainnís online hotline and talked a little bit about the CSA for the first time. The volunteer was really great and Iím really glad I did it. She was very helpful and supportive. I recommend it highly.

Bad news: Though I still donít regret doing it, I woke up this morning feeling like shit....


It's Better than Silence

Posted by Puddle , 28 December 2011 · 13 views

I had a good day. Or moment, rather. With my father. We have an alright relationship, but it has been declining over the years at a slow rate. We used to get along so much better than we do now, not that we argue. We just donít really involve ourselves in each others lives much anymore, aside from him needing to vent about my mother to me. But we shared a...



Posted by Puddle , 20 December 2011 · 17 views

Uhmm....Warning for swearing.

Iím angry. I am so damn angry. My motherís always beenÖparanoid. Sheís been a firm believer in homemade conspiracy theories, and will fly off the handle from ungrounded suspicions. Like I said, paranoid. I do not know in any definite sense whether or not my dad is cheating on my mom or if he ever did. See, it could have bee...


Back Home (whatever that means)

Posted by Puddle , 17 December 2011 · 8 views

I'm back at the house. My house, the one I grew up in. I didn't have much of a choice. It isn't as if it's too terrible to be in since I'm kind of used to the way it is, but seeing my mother was...awkward. Weird. And it sucked, because all my friends were talking about how excited they were to go back home for winter break, but hearing...

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