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Make us stronger?

30 September 2011
Posted by Irishleo  
They say that adversity gives us the opportunity to grow, and that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. But does it really? When I look back at the abuse I went through, and the long term damage it has done to my life in so many areas, I don't feel it has made me stronger. It has made me weaker. I still carry on, as we all do, but I...
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Tags: stronger, doubtful

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When it rains it pours

26 September 2011
Posted by Irishleo  
Having such a bad day. It's so hard to be optimistic when everything seems to go wrong at once. Took my daughter to school today, always stressful for me because I have fears she will be molested if she's out of my sight. (another residue from my own childhood molestation) I am overprotective of my child anyway, but last year on her first...
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Tags: stressed, paranoia

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Feeling drained and sad

25 September 2011
Posted by Irishleo  
Had another flashback today. No seemingly obvious trigger, but just a memory rising unbidden in my mind. A package of yellow peanut MM's. I remember he gave them to one time before an "episode" of assaulting me. A cheap ploy to buy my silence. I guess he hadn't yet realized that no one was watching or listening in my family...
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Lost in a sea of despair

23 September 2011
Posted by Irishleo  
I am new to writing a blog, but the idea appealed to me as I have virtually no one to talk to about what has happened to me. There is something comforting about the act of writing my thoughts, even if they accomplish little in terms of actual solace. But it's worth a try...

For most of my life I have been plagued by fragments of memories of...
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Tags: raped, abused, sad, incest

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