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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

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Posted by Irishleo  
I've been trying to tell more of my family about the abuse, but no one will listen to me. They either get mad and say I shouldn't make such terrible accusations without tangible proof, or they don't believe me and say I must have imagined it all. (Oh sorry, I guess as a five year old I should have kept a dna kit at hand for when he...
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Tags: alone, betrayed, frustrated, sad, injustice

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Posted by Irishleo  
For the last few days I have been doing a great job in trying to change the way I view the world, but I am also being severely tested by flashbacks. My therapist has helped me to see that I have been torturing myself with self loathing and extreme self criticism, and I am truly happy to find that there is some strength in me after all, because I...
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Posted by Irishleo  
Well I finally did it. This week I had an appointment with a therapist and for the first time told a person (outside of my family or my pandora's blog) that I was raped and molested as a child. It was liberating. I hadn't planned on revealing it necessarily as I was there discussing other problems, but as we spoke she actually asked me...
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Posted by Irishleo  
More and more I wonder what kind of person I would have been if I hadn't been abused growing up. I know others on this website have at times voiced the same thought. I remember when I was a little kid being so outgoing and playful, never revealing the hidden secret that I was being raped. Being out of the house with my friends made me so...
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My dream last night

24 February 2012
Posted by Irishleo  
I haven't written in awhile, but the memories are back again and haunting me.

Last night I dreamt that I was in a room with many family members. In particular, my uncle was there sitting besides my father. Of course, I didn't realize it was just a dream and was afraid. But I decided I'd had enough and told my father once again what my...
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Near breaking point

02 January 2012
Posted by Irishleo  
I don't know how much more I can take. I feel like darkness is overwhelming my life and that I'm just struggling in futility against the tide as it sweeps me out to sea. Everything is collapsing around me. I feel so fucking alone and helpless. I haven't felt such depths of despair in years.

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Update on robbery

01 January 2012
Posted by Irishleo  
Well I have filed a complaint with the police, but they basically said they would have another officer contact me back in a few days. It's so frustrating because I explained that I need someone to come and dust my bedroom for fingerprints and the officer said that's not necessarily standard procedure. WTF? How is that not standard...
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My soul is exhausted

29 December 2011
Posted by Irishleo  
I just discovered last night that I have been robbed. Again. I don't know why I seem to get robbed on such a regular basis, but for whatever reason it seems to happen to me alot more than the average person. It's odd because I take more precautions than most people due to the fact that I've had so many things stolen from me. Anyway, I...
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Bitterly disappointed

27 December 2011
Posted by Irishleo  
Tonight I finally mustered up the courage to tell my mother in detail about the flashbacks I've been having from my childhood abuse. It didn't go well. I have hinted in the past to her about it but tonight I finally went ahead and got it all out. She was skeptical throughout our phone call, and out of all the many things she could have...
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another terrible memory

22 December 2011
Posted by Irishleo  
Again in this memory I am five years old. In the house I grew up in my bedroom was the only bedroom far away from the others. It was also right next to the only bathroom in the house. Anyway, this night in my memory I was just about to go to bed when my uncle came into the room. He smelled heavily of beer, and crouched down so that he was near my...
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