Pandora's Aquarium: Irishleo's Blog - Pandora's Aquarium

Jump to content

Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.

Guest Message © 2013 DevFuse

 
Posted by Irishleo  
I ended my marriage today. I thought I would feel some sense of relief, but instead all I feel is regret and profound sorrow. I want to die. I have never felt this amount of pain in my entire life. I feel like I have turned my back on my soulmate, and ruined everyone's lives. (his, mine, our child's). And why? Because I was so unhappy with...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 1 Comments

Posted by Irishleo  
All day I just keep worrying that I am making the wrong decision about ending my marriage. I know that ending it is the only logical choice and that it's the right decision for me and my child, but I also know it's not the right thing for my husband. I feel so selfish, and so sad when I think about my husband and what this is going to do...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 3 Comments

Posted by Irishleo  
All day I just keep worrying that I am making the wrong decision about ending my marriage. I know that ending it is the only logical choice and that it's the right decision for me and my child, but I also know it's not the right thing for my husband. I feel so selfish, and so sad when I think about my husband and what this is going to do...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 3 Comments

Posted by Irishleo  
This is the week that I am finally making real changes in my life, but I am so afraid that I've left it too late. It seems like now that I'm back in my real home that everyone else somehow moved on without me. Because my fear held me back for so long, now I have to struggle all alone again, without the support system I might have otherwise...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 5 Comments

I want to be free

03 May 2012
Posted by Irishleo  
Feeling melancholy tonight. Just want to be free from fear and sadness. No matter what I do I'm second guessing myself and filling myself with doubt. I feel like I have the courage to do what I must, but perhaps not the wisdom to know what it is I must do. My soul is breaking free after years of feeling pinned down and trapped. I just want to...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 4 Comments

Posted by Irishleo  
Alright, this is getting utterly ridiculous. As if it's not enough that the last few weeks have been the worst of my life, I had a doctor appointment today and was given some more bad news. For the last few days I have had a strange rash on my arms (I do not have sensitive skin so having a rash was very weird for me) and then today it spread...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

Regrets

01 May 2012
Posted by Irishleo  
When I look back on the life I've lived so far, I have so many regrets. While part of me recognizes that I wouldn't be the person I am now without ALL my past experiences, both good and bad, another part of me wonders if that's a good thing.

I regret making the pursuit of love the top priority in my life for so many years. But...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: regret, self-doubt, pain

Icon 0 Comments

Bird mites- please help!

27 April 2012
Posted by Irishleo  
For the last 8 months my family has been under attack by these horrible insects, and it is absolutely ruining my life. For anyone who is unfamiliar with these horrible beasts, they are part of the spider family. Just to begin with, let me say this is not an infestation that happens because someone is unclean or has an unclean house. I am an utter...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 2 Comments

Posted by Irishleo  
I had an odd talk with my mother today. I'm starting to suspect that she's known all along what he did to me. I didn't want to believe that before because I love her, but the more I try to talk about what happened the more strange and detached her responses become. I've been noticing little clues in what she says and in what [i]she...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 1 Comments

Posted by Irishleo  
It feels like so much of my life is just bending with the wind. Some days the wind is like a gentle breeze and I sway with it; other times it's like the wind becomes a hurricane, and I'm struggling not to crack and blow away, never to be seen again.

I'm in such a dark place in my life right now. I'm searching so hopefully for the...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 2 Comments

 

Back to blog home →
  • 7 Pages +
  • « First
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • Last »

My Blog Links

Mark Blog as read
Archive

Recent Comments

Categories


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.